Spare me the alpha/beta stuff.

My ex that I dated that for a year and a half that I found out was seeing sugar daddies behind my back was in a car accident today resulting in a fatality, and serious injuries. Guaranteed it was drunk driving knowing her and her friends.

I have had her blocked for 5 months now, and was made aware of it by a mutual friend.

I don't know what the fuck to do or feel. I want to go see her, but at the same time it's like fuck because of all the shit she pulled.

Just venting, looking for help.