Looks versus (potential) good character?

rad_daphne · 2019-11-14T14:15:53+00:00

Decide you won't sleep with him the first night. You have every right to give yourself a few dates to feel this out. My best friends with benefits we talked at a coffee shop a few times a week for 6 months before I went out with him on a date. He was not physically very attractive but he was an absolutely amazing lover and we were friends and lovers for years.

Don't force it if you don't like him. Take your time and be upfront.

All my best lovers have been less attractive men who really liked me and put in a lot of effort. But they also all had tones of stamina and we're not overweight at all. I think that is very important.

husheveryone · 2019-11-14T15:59:33+00:00

So you have not seen him in person yet, and you are not attracted by his photos BUT where you are is slim pickings, and he’s asked you out on a proper dinner date?

Go on the date. Do not sleep with him out of pity. Continue to see other men. Only sleep with men you are 100% feeling on all the levels. Attraction is beyond our control and the chemistry is either there or not.

rayne_chi · 2019-11-14T18:21:06+00:00

Looks aren't everything! Honestly the better looking guys annoy the shit out of me cause of they're so full of themselves. I recently started dating again after a bad breakup, and have had plenty of guys interested, but the only one that caught my attention is someone that wasn't really "my type." He's got a little extra weight on him and dresses "urban" lol which was a turnoff before, but after talking to him and hanging out with him, I feel like an ass for judging based on looks. He's sweet, super attentive, funny, has a successful business, owns his home, no kids (and doesn't mind that I have 3), and treats me with so much kindness and respect. We went drinking for his BILs bday the other day and it was so endearing to see the way he spoke so highly of me to his friends/family, and took care of me the whole time even though he was pretty drunk. My point is, don't judge someone based on just looks. Also, sex is always better with someone you "click" with, and who knows, you might end up liking him more than you think. I swore I was done with serious relationships for a while but this guy is making me question that. Good luck!

Ms_Tilly · 2019-11-15T19:04:08+00:00

It's slim pickins over here too. I gave an ugly, overweight guy a chance awhile back. We had mad chemistry in person and we were so good together sexually. I ended up falling hard and he became attractive to me. He turned out to be a narcissist though. It took forever to get over him.

The only interesting guy I've met on OKC so far is about as attractive as that dude, but more fit. He has a different accent than me, so he totally gets living in this area and hearing OMG WHERE ARE YOU FROM?! literally daily. I'm excited to see if we have chemistry despite the fact I don't find him conventionally attractive.

Give him a chance in person. You may be surprised.

Title	Looks versus (potential) good character?
Author	fdsthrowaway
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	November 14, 2019 1:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dw9nug/looks_versus_potential_good_character/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/looks-versus-potential-good-character.724181 https://theredarchive.com/post/724181

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