I'm about a week no contact with a NVM I was seeing for about 9 months. Some days I'm totally fine but today was one of crying and obsessing over shitty things he did. I spent a good amount of time thinking over minor situations and reciting what I wish I had said. I say minor but it was all LVM behaviour. Expecting an obvious LVM to not do little LVM things is a losing game that's for sure. He just had no emotional intelligence or really many good traits at all. It shows how low my standards and self esteem were when we met. I don't wanna have a victim mentality or anything but yeah today I was very emotional. I saw all the red flags and I knew he wasn't good for me or bf material at all. Regardless, he became my one of my main sources of validation. I internalised some of his negative judgements of me and accepted his poor treatment, laziness, bad hygiene, below average sexual skill, coercion, misogyny. I have deleted my OLD accounts and am now starting to really do the inner work I have been needing to do for years. I hope to find a life partner some day but I'm trying to become comfortable with the idea of being single long term. Some days I'm over the moon about it and I'm grateful I don't have any ties to anyone at the moment. I also don't have many close girl friends anymore