What do you define as necessary for a HVM?

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-04-15T22:21:43+00:00

Genuine respect for women as autonomous persons and not as objects or accessories. The maturity to think beyond himself and to take responsibility for his actions and place in life. The strong desire to protect and provide for his loved ones.

2020-04-15T22:31:16+00:00

1) Self-determination: cultivating one’s own path in life and not needing to rely on someone else to manage it is viscerally important to me

2) A commitment to personal growth in all aspects of life

3) Intellectual curiosity and emotional intelligence

4) Respect for others, as well as for oneself

5) Nurturing, patient, and good with kids and/or dogs. I’m torn on whether or not I want to have kids, but I have a dog and I would not want to be with someone who didn’t express any sort of caregiving desire

thepastamancer · 2020-04-15T22:48:58+00:00

Personal integrity, honesty, reasonably intelligent and good conversationalist, able to both accept and give constructive criticism, generous, empathetic, kind, good listener, but not a pushover. All things I require of myself as well.

2020-04-15T23:13:13+00:00

The way he treats women that he’s not sexually attracted to. That’s the real way of seeing if he respects women. It’s easy for men to fake respect for women they want to bang you.

EmpressOfDankness · 2020-04-15T23:58:12+00:00

I actually made a list on my phone after my last break up because I promised myself I wasn't going to to make any compromises anymore. To me a HVM is:

Responsible
Providing
Assertive
Marriage-Minded
Romantic
Generous
Loyal
Funny
Kind
Thoughtful
Smart
Easygoing
High EQ

GreatEscape1313 · 2020-04-15T22:37:15+00:00

Loyalty and kindness

Bovvsette · 2020-04-16T00:05:13+00:00

Respect. For himself, for women, for weaker than him, for environment...

Empathy. Understanding what actions are hurtful and not doing them.

Loyalty and reliability. You can count on him, he is your rock.

2020-04-16T00:34:53+00:00

Empathy.

This is the key for me and my number one deal breaker. You can have everything else but if you don't have empathy, it's done.

goddess-of-compost · 2020-04-16T13:01:03+00:00

One thing I’ll add is integrity. Many men can promise a lot, perhaps in hopes of stringing you along. A man with integrity has no gulf between his words and his actions. The consistency there is what makes him so trustworthy.

And again, many men can seem great for the first few months. What counts is not big showy acts, but patterns of behavior that are consistent over a long span of time.

Consideration is huge. Consideration is not mere kindness, although that’s important. Consideration can also mean having a degree of restraint, self-awareness and discipline ... all needed so that his impact on others is positive.

Along these lines, a responsiveness to the needs and boundaries of different people is key. A man can follow a script of how to treat others well, he may even check off a lot in terms of being a classic “good boyfriend” ... but the key thing he’ll adapt to honor what YOU need. A man who does all sorts of nice things you don’t really need or want, but then also continually ignores your needs or boundaries, is not as much of a catch as one might think.

ThePastRecaptured · 2020-04-16T14:24:18+00:00

A man of his word. Keeps his promises, flows through on commitments, and takes responsibility with a mature and thoughtful attitude. This fits in well with integrity, but it's important to look for this specific trait

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