Alphas, Betas, Omegas, and lupine lexicon - oh my !

Having perused this sub for several days now, I find myself ever-increasingly intrigued by the utility of this caste system. (Probably because I find myself constantly drawing parallels to astrology. For the record, I think a Pluto and/or Uranus-dominant would be the walking poster-child for a Sigma justsayin')

So, naturally, as any woman is wont to do, I am keen on type-casting the leading man in my life, and seeing just where it is exactly he sits on the spectrum.

But, I'm regrettably new to all of this... (what I am not new to, however, is the belief in soft submission and devotion to my man).

So, help me. Does this sound like a Unorthodox Alpha? Hard Beta? Or Soft Sigma? Or some non-unitary blend of multiple classes?

From the beginning, my leading man has had a formulaic approach to this relationship. There are clear and evident 'stages.' The 'just-met' phase is distinct and distinguishable from the 'courting phase,' distinguishable from the 'sexual stage' and distinguishable yet from the 'bonding' phase. It has the feeling of being mathematical. (which I adore!)

But, oh wait. Yes, the beginning...

The Beginning

Our first encounter was arranged from social media (a platform for common interests). For me: there was no attraction at the onset; for him, I could see he was head over heels as soon as we clapped eyes on one another. Our outing was natural and effortless and somehow time became quite elastic -- after rock climbing, trail blazing, and lunching, seven hours had come and gone.

He was an utter gentleman. We had a pleasant energy that we volleyed back and forth. He emanated respect.

At the close of our outing, he immediately asked me out for the next Saturday. I faltered because I hadn't felt any chemistry and I was utterly stupefied someone in this cyclical, ceaseless modern dating culture was was asking for a second date so far in advance?! But it was bold and brazen, and exactly what I was looking for, so I accepted.

And somehow that Saturday inspired yet another Saturday.

On our third official "date" he asked to be exclusive in a-most clever and seamless way. He handed me a sentimental gift and proclaimed "[his] selection in gift-giving is much better than those other boyfriends..." He must have sensed my reluctance because he issued an ultimatum at this point. He reasoned if we couldn't get to know one another at the exclusion of other people, he wouldn't be interested in progressing our relationship. And so I gave myself a rightful mental slap and accepted (because I hold the same beliefs).

We kissed after several weeks. And that was only done at my gentle prompting. He didn't ask; he didn't insinuate, he waited. He waited for my cue. I leaned in And - oh, deary me, was that kissing chemistry?

Now I found myself very much attracted to him. We were intimate a week after that.

I accepted his company that Saturday. Then, the Saturday after that. Then the next Saturday after that. And the next. And then the weekends...

... and here we are 15 months later.

Current State of Affairs

Trips have been had; families have been met; and deep, meaningful conversations shared over the course of our many weeknight 'fireside chats.'

He is every inch the gentleman and traditionalist. And he is masculine, of that there is no doubt. But, I don't think he is a 'pedigree' Alpha.

The chief trait that identifies an Alpha is how their public responds to them, yes? Well...

Curiously, he comes across as... invisible. When we are out together, I draw a lot of attention. My SMV is incredibly high and admittedly his has settled somewhere between average and unremarkable. (But our RMV are at parity). So it is not unusual for people to chance a double-take when they look at us. She's with him? their eyes say.

Women are sooner to check me out. I am approached consistently by men even with the beau at my side. People seem to have this natural inclination to dismiss my man. Which baffles me, because he's well over six feet and powerfully conditioned from rigorous powerlifting. And when a strange man decides to loiter too long, he'll melt from the shadows and -- oh why did the room suddenly get frosty? -- exert some quiet unseen force and have the suitor scurry off, tail between his legs...

As they should. My man has a quiet, brooding intensity about him.

This seems to be a patterned behavior. He has been self-reliant and alone, hovering at the fringe of his friendships since a young child. He has one childhood friend that he sees once or twice a year (and even then the act behind it has a remote, tribal feel to it) and... imagine my surprise (horror? confusion?) that he never had a girlfriend before at the then-age of 28... by choice. He was either incredibly discerning; disinterested; or disinclined to date. He was consistently enthusiastic and honorable toward women, but friend-zoned for that very reason growing up (but he wouldn't pine; he would move on). And so he inured himself to the opposite sex and would surface from his solitude every now and again to try and try again, to no avail.Finally, he withdrew entirely and became more interested cultivating his own interests and creating stability in his career, deciding that if the right one came along, he would know (Monk mode? And perhaps his strict Catholic upbringing -- from which he has divorced himself once moving out -- cannot be overstated)

... and then I came along...

And he snapped awake. He took a chance on me, even when feeling "I was out of his league." And he pursued. And it was that same quality that drove women away (too honest, too honorable, and too lacking of game) that endeared him to me. Even 15 months later he arranges for our dates, vacations, and long-term plans. His plans are actionable. He asks if we should go somewhere 4 months in advance and immediately books itinerary. He initiates and suggests important milestones: meeting the parents; vacationing with family; asking what I think of commitment and he even expresses his natural inclination toward marriage. There is not one pretentious bone in his body. He's brutally honest. (So am I).

He texts me all day long everyday (during lulls) and his texts are as long as they need to be. It can be something as mundane as excitement over a new frying pan (he does all the cooking, at his insistence), or as deep and meaningful as a new political insight. We will have conversations over text, not duty messages. He'll send me memes all day long. We even get into these one upmanship battles as to who has the better meme over the course of the day. (And, ironically, I'm the one to send the more sexual and suggestive memes).

He's very artistic (a trait once spurned by his parents because it had no financial merit) and this once-deeply repressed talent has now (spring-loaded from years of disuse) surged forward with my urging... and he's quite the maverick with a sewing machine. Did I mention? We cosplay.

He is in the STEM field; a software engineer by trade; and a social pariah by choice. He prefers his own company, socializing online (and even then it's limited) and he has a strong persevering identity. He knows his own mind; and has a rich inner world; he can dissect and reverse engineer his personality, and meta-analyze it to exhaustion.

He has his own set of morals and frame of reference for the world, and abides by them. He gets a perverse thrill when I challenge them. He is self-possessed and self-aware, and is comfortable discussing the male/female dichotomy, but he cringes away from feminists, and other alt-sex leanings. He prefers a give-and-take dynamic; visually pleased and overjoyed when there's harmony and balance, and I let him walk ahead by a whisker. He leads; I have veto power. I suggest; he executes. He wants commitment; I suggest structure (marriage). And he is comfortable and impassioned with the prospect of our future. He is fine with a mutual engagement (no ambush-proposals) and agrees we need a prenup. Expectations on finances, kids, logistics, they have all been discussed and established.

He doesn't have one selfie to his name (only several lifting videos I can count on one hand). His interests belong to fringe-groups: high fantasy; video games; comics and comic adaptations . But he also has grounded ambitions, such as financial management, self-improvement, self-reliant sports, casual accumulation of wealth, and success -- the victories come as they might, but he doesn't fret over loss.

He isn't ambivalent toward anything. He never cancels plan. His word is his bond. His dedication and commitment to all facets of his life are staggering. He sees a project through.

He's attentive and clairvoyant about my needs and he has created this insulated bubble for us. Together we have weathered every storm. We prefer to keep our company and exist in our universe of two. We enjoy lazy-day afternoons binge-watching Netflix, but also scaling the tree tops and zip lining. We lead high-paced, high impact, dramatic lives. We make the same six-figure salary down to the penny. (I am in international corporate business). And he glows at my successes.

He dislikes social gatherings. He has the distinct vibe of swiftly breezing in - saying his hellos and goodbyes - and swiftly breezing out, with me on his arm. He feels no need to posture or establish rank, he gets too people-exhausted for that. But I'm his person of choice. He wants to be with me always.

I'm sorry for waxing long, but I really wanted to get the feel of him across (And I'm in love, can you tell? lol) through show and not tell.

So anyone dare to take a crack at this? ... what is he?