Plate went cold

Herdsengineers · 2020-12-09T03:20:06+00:00

Just my initial thought - when texting with a pissed off girl, less is more. instead of asking her over after her first 2 texts, the best response would have been patience and frame. the "come over now" response only served to put her back on the defensive. it was too fast.

at this point, you're best served by going silent / wait to see if she contacts you again. also, NEVER explain yourself. the "i needed time to not be emotional" was not the right thing to give her.

remember this - BIFF. Brief, Informational, Friendly, Factual. send messages to pissed of girls that are BIFF.

i don't know what a good response would have been instead of getting sucked into a text msg chain like that. not enough information. but keeping the serious discussion off of text should always be a priority. maybe a starting response of "thanks. glad you seem to be feeling better." or something like that. and then if she tries to engage just a simple "i'll call you about it later." gives you time to figure out what you want before you talk or respond. if it's patch things up, okay. if it's move on, okay. just be ready to tell her outright at the start of a conversation "my intention is to..." whatever it is. you set the tone, take control of the interaction and don't relinquish it at the outset. she can submit or argue. if she submits, you're setting a new tone for how you and her interact overall. if you argue, you're honestly just pissing upwind.

but don't order her what to do. tell her what you will do instead. she has 2 choices, accept and wait (which is submissive to your frame) or try to text again and push things (which is trying to get you to enter her frame by trying to get you to text more). be patient, take things slow, and see if she submits, waits, and plays the game your way, or if she tries to control things. Either way, it will tell you what you need to know in order to know whether to move on or keep her around.

DetroitGangster · 2020-12-09T02:21:10+00:00

Yeah man that's weird, I am really surprised you didn't get her panties soaking wet and had her fucking your brains out when you mentioned watching The Grinch together.

TheScabSlayerTRP · 2020-12-09T03:16:29+00:00

Plates break, move on, especially from pyscho bitches.

p-tittyy2 · 2020-12-09T03:32:57+00:00

This is way too much drama for a plate.

Selfimproving7 · 2020-12-09T02:45:20+00:00

Shouldn’t have had that kind of convo over text and having phone calls just to talk instead of using it to set up logistics and talk a bit sounds like more than a plate. Learn from it and next

pukima_sial · 2020-12-09T13:19:55+00:00

Should've have stop texting after your first reply. You done fuck up

Koko175 · 2020-12-09T02:41:33+00:00

Are some texts missing?

HauntingYam0 · 2020-12-09T06:40:47+00:00

She nexted herself.

cunningcaring · 2020-12-09T12:14:10+00:00

"No right to be upset???" Being ghosted is a very negative experience.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2020-12-09T21:52:51+00:00

You're DEERing and chasing. You also shouldn't have invited her straight over after that. Why would you reward her with an invite that quickly? Should have said "Yea wasnt cool. Thanks for the apology." or similar and let her chase a bit/feel a little dread because you should genuinely want to put your energy elsewhere for a while depending on how bad the situation was.

For now, all you can do is pullback. If it breaks it breaks. If she comes back, cool.

Also, seeing her again or not depends on what she said/did.

Title	Plate went cold
Author	plzmakemeMD
Upvotes	1
Comments	16
Date	December 9, 2020 2:17 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/k9iqld/plate_went_cold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/plate-went-cold.731992 https://theredarchive.com/post/731992

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