How can I help my husband with work/health stresses?

HelloImRIGHT · 2017-10-25T20:22:14+00:00

They've been experimenting with medications and doses. Most meds/doses make him awesome the first couple of weeks then make him depressed or worse again. So they're working on that.

This is pretty much 95% of everyone on pharmaceutical drugs. If you havent yet, look into Kelly Brogan. She was on Joe Rogan's podcast and highlighted some incredible things. She also has a book as well called A Mind of Your Own.

I'm a man. I'm also a recovering heroin addict. The alcohol is scary. It's progressive. As long as he keeps drinking he will continue to drink more.

I think he may be drawing too much of his identity from his job. While that's okay for most guys its normally okay because we have something else going on.

Not pursuing your dreams and your interests is literally spiritual suicide.

I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes. I wouldnt address the alcohol - that could backfire. However, do keep an eye on it. Instead, show him how supportive you can be in the things he might want to do. I'm not sure how exactly to do this hoping you might.

My life completely changed when I stopped drinking and doing drugs. The next big change was focusing on my health.

Goodluck

Boeijen666 · 2017-10-25T19:24:57+00:00

Your man sounds like he's lacking a bit of esteem there but its not going away. We all get a bit of anxiety/depression but it shouldnt be hanging around for 5 years - its not ironic that it started with the birth of your son either. It sounds like he feels he's lost his identity when he became a father/family man because that role is taking all his time now and that's normal to an extent but jumping from job to job also says he doesnt know what he wants to do as a profession either. A man gets a lot of identity out of his occupation and role at home but without it we feel worthless.

Sexwithcoconuts · 2017-10-25T22:33:25+00:00

I understand that you are frustrated but honestly, this post is just one long complaint about your husband. It sounds like you've been focusing on trying to save him from his demons but it is very hard to change another person. In your place I would focus on your own life and how you can make it better.

Maybe take one morning to really get your house organized so that you don't feel so overwhelmed. I have 2 kids too and I always feel better when the house is in decent shape! You might also want to do some meal prep, cook some dinners ahead of time so that you don't have to cook every night. Think of little ways to give yourself a break.

Also, is there any way you can earn some extra income, so that you don't have to feel as financially pinched? Maybe you can babysit now and then to give yourself a little extra cash?

Take the focus off of your husband and find ways to enjoy your life.

LateralThinker13 · 2017-10-25T21:38:59+00:00

Sounds like you're doing what you can. Maybe try a diet change? If he's eating crap, sedentary, and now drinking alcohol, maybe try the Keto diet (extremely few carbs). It fixes/stabilizes energy levels, improves focus, and is healthier than a high-carb SAD (Standard American Diet). It also gives you an excuse to get him off the sauce for a few weeks.

Try it. See how you both feel after a week on it. And make him lunches. Or bento boxes - with smileys in them or something. Remind him in little ways how you love him.

StepfordInTexas · 2017-10-25T22:57:08+00:00

Stop micromanaging the budget. Give that job over to him. Tell him what your financial needs are (how much you need for groceries, your gym payment, etc) and then ask him to handle the rest.
Start FlyLady routines. Get your chores and tasks done through the day. Make lunches while you’re making dinner. Put your dishes into the dishwasher as you go.
Put your kids to bed earlier. If they’re getting up at 6:30, put them down at 7. Our bedtime routine takes about an hour.
You can’t change anyone but yourself. Lead by example, but don’t shame him. At the same time, seek out opportunities to compliment and appreciate his masculine qualities. Initiate sex daily. Men want to be desired, and sex begets more sex. The hormones from sex trigger the addiction centers in the brain. Above all. Focus on you. Be determined to be the very best you, wife and mother you can be. Good luck!

Sexwithcoconuts · 2017-10-26T01:11:33+00:00

Have you considered getting a job to help with the finances? It costs a lot to live these days.

spinalmemes · 2017-10-25T18:53:43+00:00

Well you should communicate to him that this behavior is completely unacceptable. Its becoming habitual, which is dangerous. He needs to get control over his emotional state.... drugs can help, but they dont do it 100% for you. As a man, i know that if my fiance was acting like that i would communicate to her very clearly that i cant be with a person who behaves this way.

Title	How can I help my husband with work/health stresses?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	October 25, 2017 5:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/78pbf2/how_can_i_help_my_husband_with_workhealth_stresses/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-help-my-husband-with-workhealth-stresses.73648 https://theredarchive.com/post/73648

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