I realized after finding this subreddit, that I have lost a chunk of my life. Nearly a decade. I lost friends, girlfriends, family, just my whole self. I wasted it away. Almost a whole decade. I lost my youth.

I am a person of faith. I feel irredeemable in front of God and my peers. Its like a permanent blemish on me. I see all of my peers happily married and with degrees, being happy.

Yet here I am looking stupid. I couldve gotten my degree done. But no, I wasted my time being so called red pilled. I feel like I will never be whole again or the person that my peers said I would become.

Now I am the example of what not to be. I am a wasted vessel that had potential.

From 15-23, I wasted these years. I am a dissapointment to my church, peers, family, and God only knows who else by proxy of these.

I wish I never got in this cult. I wish I have retained my innocency.

Red pill in my eyes is pure satanism.