I am 26 now and have been in a relationship since I was 19, when I became pregnant with my current partner (30M).

We have stayed together because we strongly believe that a nuclear family is best, when possible.

I have matured greatly between 19 years old and now, at 26. My partner is borderline leftist, and he is selfish and rude and generally ignorant. He doesn't respect me. That is how I got pregnant in the first place.. I hate having to say that I got pregnant at 19 when it conflicts with my values and my actions and my lifestyle. I did everything in my power to not become pregnant but it still happened. Abortion was not a choice for me, so I decided to try and lie in the figurative bed which I had made. I still believe that this is the right thing to do.

With that said, my partner resists knowledge and is spiteful towards me for the education I have pursued. He doesn't seem to like me at all. I have tried and continue to try very hard to make this relationship work. I bite my tongue constantly and I am very unhappy.

I would prefer a partner who is supportive, kind, smart and willing to discuss things. He isn't reasonable or rational. He's not a very good father, either. He pushes our child away and is generally disinterested in anything to do with them. I wish he was different, better, not like himself. I want a different person.

It hasn't gotten better over 7 years.. it's only made me feel more and more depressed that this is what my life is. I want so much more.

I think perhaps I could achieve more, if I hadn't had a child with a person like this.

I want a better life. I want a partner who is smart and strong, who wants to use that strength to protect me and anything we build together, not use it against me to hurt me physically or emotionally. I want someone who shares my values.. but if I weren't in my situation, I would judge myself very harshly.

Objectively, I can't see why any man worth having would want to become involved with a woman such as myself at this point. If I didn't have a child already or if the father of my child didn't insist on staying together then maybe the kind of guy I'd like to be with would be interested in me.

I think breaking up your nuclear family just because you're unhappy isn't a good enough reason. So, I feel trapped.

Is it objectively best for me to continue doing what I've been doing? Am I right to think how I do? I don't want to be a single mom. I'm capable, but I firmly believe that it takes both a man and a woman to raise a child. I have a man, I just think that he sucks.

Before anyone says that maybe I suck too, let me say that I am open to the possibility that I do, in fact, suck. However, I think I have a lot of good things going for me. I know I am a good mother to my child, I keep a nice, clean home, I don't particularly enjoy cooking but I make a good meal every night. I work and I do everything in my home.

It may be hard to believe after reading this post, but I consider myself an intelligent person. I am hard working. I went to college. I am always reading or listening to something and I am constantly seeking to improve myself.

I'm a little bit overweight (probably from all the hearty meals I cook, whoops) but I still have a nice figure and am very.. womanly. Hourglass all the way. I know there are men who like my appearance. My partner insults my body daily. He wants a little woman with a little, athletic body and no curves. I have serious curves. My waist is small and my bust and hips are large. My arms and legs are normal-sized. My partner insults my breasts for being large and constantly reminds me that I will never have a flat chest, and there's nothing I can do about it. I like my body and I think it's sexy. I don't want to have sex eith my partner because he clearly doesn't like my body type or me as a person.

I have very long natural hair and I dress myself appropriately and in nice clothes. I think of myself as a nice-looking lady. My coworkers insist that I look 5 years younger but act 10 years older than I am, which is a nice compliment. They have no idea that my home life is miserable and that I spend my free time trying to avoid arguing with a ridiculous person who dislikes everything about me, is disrespectful to me, isn't a good partner or father, but absolutely wants to stay with me, and will fight tooth and nail to keep me no matter what it takes. I pretend that everything is perfect because that's how I want it to be, but I'm living a lie. I want to actually live my life the way I think I should, instead of just pretending.

Only, I know what I will look like if I leave.. just another woman who didn't think what she had was good enough so she thought she'd do it alone, despite the statistics. Ugh.

TL;DR I hate my life and want to leave my crappy partner/father of my child, but feel conflicted becuase of my values.