Give me guidance, brothers.

LTR of about 11 mos, and so far everything has been great except one detail. She absolutely refuses to take care of herself, healthwise. I mean she'll work 80 hours a week, won't exercise then will come down with a horrible cold, fever, virus but refuse to take medication for it, see a doctor even rest to get better. "I just don't like / need medicine." She works so much she forgets to eat, but when I remind her of that she gets pretty pissy about me telling her. Then she'll like faint and low and behold--- she had low blood sugar. From not fucking eating. Shocker.

The reason I'm writing is that she just went through a major back surgery. She's in a lot of pain, and agony and can barely move / walk / stand. The surgeon obviously perscribed her pain meds and she's refusing to take them. Yet she's in so much pain, I wonder if she's going to pass out from it. At the same time, this is pretty indicative of her normal and I'm writing because for the first time I'm not feeling sympathy for her...I just feel annoyed and irritated. I just think that's so stupid. I can't bring it up without her wanting to argue about me making her take meds. A few months ago she had pretty bad muscle spasms to the point I had to forcibly take her to the hospital (which the doctor thanked me for).

I can't tell if maybe I'm somehow feeding into this with her and we're in some pattern where she gets sick, I try to advise her and then she gets upset, but progressively gets sicker? From what I can understand she's always been horrible of taking care of herself. At the same time, it's not fun watching someone you care about writhe in pain to the point of her crying tears. Being objective though--- do you think it's a yellow flag, red flag. Is there anyway to "dread" her into taking better care of herself? I do care about her and don't think a hard next is justified at present but we can't keep doing this number... its like trying to get your 4 year old to eat their broccoli and then they toss the food on the floor and go into a tantrum.