I have zero friends and a lot of inner turmoil

dr_warlock · 2016-11-16T23:02:19+00:00

Realize that the 'tribe' you see in the movies composing of people in unrelated fields that do everything together is a fantasy. Most people in a life serve a separate purpose for you and only appropriate within a specific context.

We as human beings have been compartmentalized like rats. At each level of society and every stage in life in this machine, we are surrounded by forced company who we have no common roots with. It starts at (prussian system) daycare prison school, an artificial environment where the state forces kids within certain boundaries to blob together 7hrs/day 5days/week, shuffled around with pavlov bell systems. After highshool, people split off to different debt accumulating, sheep farming, labor force-delayment, think tanks: colleges. After college, people split off again in search of work. Then people get married and have families in the suburbs where people are segregated into small grids of land among people who they have nothing in common with and never speak to except for superficial greetings and status signal with their latest consumption they bought on credit + their wage slave job incomes. Then they leave the suburbs for a 9-5 + 2hr round trip commute to the urban areas to different buildings in different companies working on different teams in different groups which are constantly shuffled. Some get shipped off to other subsidiaries. Then they return home met with obligations towards everyone but themselves and proceed to not have sex with their wife and fill the little time they have watching MSM with a beer. Repeat at least 5 days a week. On the weekend they'll go to a bar or a club crammed people they don't know, with music so loud you can't hear, paying for overpriced drinks and cover charge in hopes of getting laid with women they have no chance with but that's okay because they can feel apart of something bigger than themselves when they cheer for 'their' team. Or they go to the mall to buy shit they don't need, with money they don't have, to impress people that don't care about them and buy extra storage space because it doesn't fit. Or they go to an amusement park rat packed with other mediocre families hoping to distract their kids with something other than an iPad. This is except their once a year, two week vacation using money they can barely muster up in the mist of their old student loans, wifey's shopping debt, mortgage, and car payments to live in a fancier version of their home and rent another car, at a resort used to artificially create paradise then stressfully run around bullshit tourist sites with strict schedules in a poor attempt to escape the grind at home. Then they come back and surprise, wifey's pregnant again with Shrodinger's baby (is it chad's or is his?). Repeat 'til death. This is not considering the portion of the population that are blue pill simps, SJW's, the obese, and other undesireables.

</rant>

Friends are hard to find, man. The more successful, the more interesting, the more intelligent, the more 'red pill', you are, the fewer the 'friend pool' there is. Most people are just acquaintances. After college age, most people can only relate in regards to work and some false group identity such as religion or team sports. Outside of that, men don't usually gather unless it's for war, pussy, or protecting pussy. But given this information, are you telling me that out of MMA, dj-ing, and guns, you don't know one person you'd like to hang with regarding just that activity?

redhazardlights · 2016-11-16T21:37:00+00:00

I'm going to answer you but first I want to know a couple of things:

1) Did you have friends in high school/college? If so, what were they like?

2) Have girls ever showed any interest in you, and if so, when?

3) In your honest opinion, what if anything do you do to cultivate friendships?

TheRedHydra · 2016-11-17T11:51:33+00:00

I felt the same way for so long and it made me feel depressed.

Then I got into a sales job and began to realize how much people suck with money. People buying things they can't afford, having shitty credit, can't pay bills on time, etc.

Then you start to realize that once you begin putting yourself first through lifting, eating right, budgeting, and planning for your goals you're ahead of 99.9% of people.

When you try to make friends with people in the "system" it doesn't work. You can't create an authentic relationship with those people. The only thing you can hope to achieve are superficial relationships. Its also best to keep those kind of relationships at a minimum because they will try to "crab bucket" the shit out of you. I can't tell you how many times I've gone out with my "friends" and they give me crap for eating healthy and not going overboard with drinks. The biggest thing my "friends" give me crap about is how I don't go out often enough.

One thing that helps me feel better is that when I do work in coffee shops I make small talk with everyone I meet and introduce myself to girls and guys a like. It never hurts to introduce yourself to people and put a name to a face. You'd be surprised how far it gets you if you do it enough or how you begin to randomly run into people in the town/city you live. My hope is that in doing that enough I can find more people who are apt to be like me or where I want to end up at (Being an Entrepreneur)

I'm planning on trying to do more male centered hobbies like BJJ or Rock Climbing just to find more "active" male friends. It's very hard to find TRP male friends who fit all of your needs. I've begun to realize that you need to find different friends to meet different needs in your life. It's like how some women are more nurturing in nature while others just want the D.

It's a slow process but its worth it. Just remember it's no one's job to complete you or make you feel fulfilled with your life but your own. So finding people to make you feel fulfilled or happy with your life is just going to be a band-aid fix.

Tough_Luv · 2016-11-17T16:31:11+00:00

My advice is be a leader. You can't look to others to initiate and build those friendships. Invite a guy out for food after he kickboxed your ass and hit him up for tips.

I always had this problem because others saw me as a leader but I didn't see myself this way. I'd make one good friend and use them to branch into other friends, I never made plans that one good friend always did and included me. Those other friends never were truly my friends, I was just an extension of that one good friend. Don't be me, be him. Bring people together, lead.

redhazardlights · 2016-11-16T23:02:07+00:00

Yeah, you seem like you communicate well via writing. But obviously that's not translating IRL, although from this description you sound quite socially able.

Honestly I think your problem may just be follow-through. It sounds like you are social, can meet people, etc. But everybody's busy, man, especially in your mid 20s. People are working/traveling/dating, so you really have to push people sometimes to get through to them. I don't mean be pushy because that would be weird. But since you're good at communicating via text, I would suggest not letting these opportunities you've described slip away. When you meet another dude at a party and you guys make tentative plans to chill, be the one who really sets it up. Make sure it's something another person would actually want to go do.

I have zero friends and a lot of inner turmoil

Comments

ps: goddamn it chad and that thundercock!

Title	I have zero friends and a lot of inner turmoil
Author	covertRedOps
Upvotes	12
Comments	31
Date	November 16, 2016 9:17 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5dbsa5/i_have_zero_friends_and_a_lot_of_inner_turmoil/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-have-zero-friends-and-a-lot-of-inner-turmoil.77693 https://theredarchive.com/post/77693