Dear fellow RPers

In the end I have decided to confront her. The anxiety was too much and I couldnt hide it.
As expected, she said the condoms were there since before we met, and she had never cleaned that specific pocket of the bag. In order not to say that I looked into her bag, I just started a conversation and manipulated it into talking about the topic of condoms. From there I talked about how I still have condoms bla bla bla.. until she said that she still has condoms in many of her bags.

What is interesting is that she willingly gave up the information, in a very natural and non-shady way.
This means that in the best case scenario, she was telling the truth. In the worst case scenario, she felt I had seen the condom already and she tried to anticipate me. We will never know.

Regarding the condoms, I asked her to show them to me, right there, on the spot.

Turns out that all three of them were old. Two of them from the period of time before we met. and another one was even older, probably it had more than a year. I checked the expiration dates etc. Of course , this proves nothing. Let’s say that I decide to cheat today… before going out I will take one of the many old condoms I have in my drawer and put it in my jacket. I could literally cheat for a whole month by only using old condoms before I need to buy new ones, because I have a lot of condoms in my drawer. And she has many old condoms too.

Just one little thing stands out to me. When I want to know the truth about something, I try to say things that elicit some emotional reaction. During our conversation, when I confronted her, I told her, in an amused way : “Whatever…I would be surprised if you cheated on me, cause we were really having something good going on”. to which she added: “and we are together all the time”. What a weird thing to say. Why would she even think about that? It was as if the time spent together, the lack of shit test, the fact that she never flakes, had the purpose to sway me from ever thinking that she cheated.

In conclusion, I don’t have enough elements to hard next with absolute confidence. And not enough elements to feel “real” with this person again. Thankfully in a month we will go separate ways because of summer break in college, and I will let this thing die. Until then, I will only focus on myself and my studies, and demote her to plate by cutting the time we see each other, no dates and only sex. The mistake was mine from the beginning. I did not vet this girl properly. She has a very promiscuous past (N Count 30+) that does not allow me to trust her. An ex, or a former (of the many) hookup could crawl back into her life at any moment and I would never know. I would probably think that she wouldn’t want ruin things between us, but I have seen and done too much to believe that. In the past I have seen too many girls “loving” their boyfriends and then being fucked by me, or by one of my friends.

We spent some great time together and the fact that she was always completely unproblematic, non flakey and sexually available blinded me from remembering that she was damaged goods anyways. Even if I am wrong and there’s no foul play at all, the problem is deeper. I understood that I would never feel completely comfortable with this person. I should have used her only for fun. Well, you live and learn.