Please guide me

captainsaveahoe69 · 2021-03-13T11:41:07+00:00

Older guy here. Your worth needs to come from within and not what society thinks about you. Newsflash: nobody gives s fuck about married men either, it's just hidden from you. Don't measure your value in what others thick about you. It will take some work and introspection but it is doable. Good luck.

StatusWorth244 · 2021-03-13T11:58:17+00:00

in the eyes of society a man who doesn't have a family to care about is greedy, and a danger to society.

This is because society is afraid of men who can't be enslaved.

You shouldn't care what society thinks, especially with today's clown world

mnight75 · 2021-03-13T12:52:52+00:00

My Dude, people already think of married men the same as unmarried, disposable. Once they make kids, their function is done beyond providing paychecks, for which they do not need you living with them to get (wives/women).

Greedy? Danger to society? I see more often than not people being a danger to society are the men who have been driven to desperation at being ruined by kids and marriage.

There are no survival tactics you need. You will have a lot of money from not wasting it on something that will act as an anchor to your success, and be better off for it.

Fuck what society thinks, you don't owe them a god damned thing! None of us do.

ABCthrowawayacc · 2021-03-13T11:28:31+00:00

Don’t give a fuck. Especially about these people.

Yes I know it’s not that easy to do that, but frankly I believe we can’t afford to give a fuck about anything other than ourselves, our goals/ desires, physical/ mental well-being and a small circle of trust (about 1-7 loved ones & real bros).

Of course, look up some Grey Man tactics and be generally cordial to others to avoid trouble. That doesn’t mean you have to care about or heed their opinions of you (unless you find a couple of them valuable and can use them to improve your life the way you want to).

d_b60 · 2021-03-13T12:37:24+00:00

Early 40s guy here. Opinions that I'll present are based on personal experience.

There are two ways to fight this thought in your head - either become a monk, or become wealthy.

When I say becoming a monk, I both mean literally and metaphorically.

When I say becoming wealthy, I mean that focus on making enough money so that you don't have to worry about people's opinion.

I say it because it seems like you're coming from a culture that is quite a hive mind. I've lived in those cultures. Asian cultures are mostly like that.

But when you're wealthy, which means that you've enough material success indicators that puts a stamp on you that you're more worthy than the married men, then you won't face the perceived threat.

But there's a catch here - you might fail in both the approaches. Because your focus of origin isn't going to be you, it'll be about escaping society's whiplash.

I come from Italy, where family wife children are primary focus of a man. All male kids are raised by parents by constantly hammering the thought to a male child's head that you must be the provider, if you can't have a family, you're a failure.

But now it doesn't effect me anymore. When I visit my home town back in Italy, all married men look up to me because I've more than what they have. Some even are jealous. And I get a free pussy too once in a while.

Was I ever worried, no. Did I face the stigma of being a threat as a single middle aged man, yes. Did it matter, no.

So, before you get more scared, remember "you suffer more in your imagination than in reality".

Just get on with life, nobody cares about anyone. If you're middle aged or around my age, your primary focus should be to make your old age comfortable and your exit from this world, smooth.

rackoon_3 · 2021-03-13T12:52:18+00:00

[deleted]

jonsarik · 2021-03-13T13:05:09+00:00

If you want to blend in, especially as you get older, just buy yourself a cheap, titanium wedding band. Now you're just another cog in the machine (look up what a gray man is).

If it's family that's giving you shit, tell them to pound sand and just ignore them.

selfism_mike · 2021-03-13T20:26:35+00:00

I just told my company that I will never work with a certain manager again after he repeatedly failed to show the minimum amount of respect due. Now they scramble because they need to find another guy to fill the position and they have to find another for me or I walk.

Why do I mention this? Because if you have a family you can't do that. If you have 2, 3, or 4 other people dependent on you as a man (and I promise you, fuck all modern woman talk, your useless wife will be one of them) then you will have to take up your ass whatever they shove up there.

I have enough saved up so that I can take a break for a few years, at which point I would retire anyway.

Don't worry what people think about you, worry about what they think they can get away with by disrespecting you. And if you get married you are indeed everybody's bitch, first and foremost your wife's.

prelude12342000 · 2021-03-13T13:23:22+00:00

You shouldn't care what other people think, it's your life.

Mawoto · 2021-03-13T13:35:03+00:00

Not sure your age, but i think you are in the 20s?

YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT OTHER SAY ABOUT YOU.

It is your life, now you are an adult, and you can decide how would you life your life. If someone tell you otherwise, just cut them from your life, even family, really. Most of the pressure is from family, then friends, then work colleagues then society(movies,tv shows, documentaries)

One thing that will safe your ass, is not to say anything to others, keep people at arms length. This is the only thing as a men in today time to not get attached to others and to society.

2021-03-13T13:40:45+00:00

People WILL see you as garbage. As greedy. As evil, white-privileged and oppressive. The key is literally not giving a fuck. Be you, completely and irrevocably 100% unfiltered. Laugh in their face when they go after you, then walk away, happy as can be. Sing Zippity-Doo-Dah for added effect.

That's my philosophy, at least. Might be wrong but then again I don't give a shit.

Beneficial_Garage · 2021-03-13T14:25:10+00:00

First off. You shouldn't give two squirts of piss about what the world thinks of you. Society is fake as hell. Getting worse by the day. And with extreme fakeness. Comes cruelty. And it will only get worse. Pay it no mind. If it attempts to harass you. Shoot it the bird. And tell them to F.O. They hate you for being free. Live for yourself. Make money for yourself. Be indifferent to the world around you.

Thinkingman21 · 2021-03-13T15:31:44+00:00

Self actualise, remove Hope and validation. Stardusk offers the path best yet from mgtow producers of content.

As for the business angle you were alluding too, I believe purchasing a gold wedding ring (I don't know cost) and wearing it to job interviews and work might help you deal with viewed as disposable.

alienmuseum · 2021-03-13T15:47:26+00:00

A danger to society? yeah, they can go fuck themselves. No, embrace your freedom. They want you to be a slave. Don't let them collar you. Be free!

silly_birb · 2021-03-13T16:38:48+00:00

All the married men i saw lived miserably

Their routine was working, providing, and watching tv on their free time

gormagion · 2021-03-14T01:33:32+00:00

Your mistake is giving a damn what others think of you.

Stop being scared to live your life how you want to live it.
It's your life, and yours alone.
No one can tell you how you should live.

Believe in your own self-worth, not the one imposed on you by society.

Also, don't take what you see in the movies for real.

iseedeer · 2021-03-14T08:16:23+00:00

You bring up some important points. A couple thoughts...

The bias in favor of married men is real, and the effect is greater in more senior positions. However, this not because married men are seen as being more talented or capable or responsible, but because they are seen as being more controllable. Not only controllable in a direct sense, but also more subject to soft control, since married coworkers have wives that ~~gossip~~ serve together on the same PTA committees, church councils, alumni associations, etc. The network of wives is a way for the higher-ups to keep tabs and keep the important players in their place. A man chained to his job and lifestyle is a man who is not a threat to the higher ups. This control dynamic is all made much more difficult if there is no wife and no kids, which is the main reason the bachelor is frowned upon - he is much more difficult to control, bully, and manipulate.

That all being said, things are changing. Clown world is accelerating to such a degree that many of the old rules are being thrown out the window. Fewer and fewer men are marrying, and the pace of technological change in the workplace is increasing. An upper level manager might like to hire someone who is married, drowning under a mortgage, has 3 kids in private school, and ticks off all the rest of the 'easy to control' boxes. But often they cannot, and regardless of what the manager wants, budgets are set, deadlines are looming, and the work simply must get done by someone.

How does a single guy best navigate? By concentrating on the skills that are driving change in your industry. A manager might not like hiring a given unencumbered bachelor, but that manager must maintain a portfolio of employees with the critical skills needed to move projects forward over the next couple years.

Use the managers need to your advantage.

AriaEarthMars · 2021-03-14T17:38:04+00:00

Married men are even worse off. Managers know that married men are more willing to put up with more crap at work because they have a family to provide.

MotorAggressive5115 · 2021-03-13T13:23:01+00:00

I am not sure what country you live in but here in the US single and unmarried people is becoming increasingly common even among women. The single women are either losers and post wall or successful career women post wall who do not want to date a lower status man. That's not sexy to them, they see that man as a child.

So you are right in that women both trust married men especially if they have kids and psychologically often view unmarried childless men as manchildren who refuse to grow up especially again if the woman is higher status than you.

The biggest challenge is probably your family and friends who will think you're gay, misogynist or impotent. If you're Chad or Chad lite they will be even more suspicious and will prob try to set you up on blind dates with post-wall hags.

If you are rich however like Prince Harry who technically doesn't have a job or stand to inherit millions a woman will see you as high status, however.

Maximum-Biscotti-247 · 2021-03-13T15:33:09+00:00

A lot of women are selfish. They won't date down, they don't want to do tradionial roles while expectingt men to do. Who cares what others think, tell them to go away.

Sweet_Preparation_21 · 2021-03-13T17:25:40+00:00

52 years old here, divorced for the last 16 years, don't date or have a girlfriend. No one ever says a word to me about it - associates at work, friends, or family. I assume there are some conversations behind my back, and I don't care if there are, but I have never once been asked if I have a girlfriend or if I want one, directly. Maybe there's something about my personality that lets everyone know the topic is off-limits but if so I'm not doing it consciously. Maybe I'd get nagged about it more if I were younger. I don't think anyone thinks I'm gay... But whatever the case, I'm not the least bit uncomfortable with it.

2021-03-14T10:04:30+00:00

Fuck society!

Title	Please guide me
Author	rackoon_3
Upvotes	30
Comments	41
Date	March 13, 2021 11:10 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/m44a8c/please_guide_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/please-guide-me.779471 https://theredarchive.com/post/779471

Comments