Finally leaving! Need advice.

LittleWinn · 2021-07-14T23:37:07+00:00

To block them. Immediately. Don’t litigate the breakup it’s final.

Coupon_Problem · 2021-07-15T02:57:46+00:00

Good for you!! You are doing the right thing for your future. I’m sure of it.

1:No contact is a MUST. Delete everything. Block him everywhere. Do not go pain shopping checking his socials when you get sad one night. No. No contact means NONE. My trick for this is saying to myself “no contact for 30 days.” Then when 30 days is up you keep it up and go another 30 or 60. Breaking into 30 days initially helps a lot to get through the vulnerable moments when you want to break NC. You can do 30 days right?

2: At this moment you have a beautiful resource of “fuck this guy” energy. Write down every reason you are leaving. Write down a list of all the times he was hurtful, manipulative, threatening, blaming, etc. go into detail. Catalogue it all. There WILL come a time when you think “was it really that bad? Maybe I overreacted.” That’s when you look at your list and let it fortify you.

3: Take care of yourself. See your friends, eat well, limit alcohol, be gentle with you. Understand you’re going to cycle through grief and relief. You’re gonna have a bunch more free time now. Do you have a hobby? Get back into it or pick up a new one. Maybe you like to journal? Do that. Go for a long walk, workout, cook a fussy dish, go to yoga, volunteer, read, paint, ride dirt bikes , whatever. Boredom is a risk factor for dbag relapse.

You’re going to do great!! You’re doing the hard work now. Make it worth it for yourself by committing to no contact, remembering why you left, not doubting your perceptions and getting started right away on building a new life for yourself.

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-07-15T04:28:51+00:00

Block them, delete old messages, consider destroying or throwing away all mementos that remind you of him. Beyond that, be prepared for it to take some time. You have to white knuckle your way through some of it, much like if you quit smoking. It gets better, slowly. The attachment you feel will slowly fade and life without him will get brighter.

bambii342 · 2021-07-15T08:19:24+00:00

First off, I am so proud of you for setting your plan in motion, and for having support & safety. I was with my ex for 4 years, engaged etc and he was so emotionally abusive where I turned into a stranger to myself. Seriously, block him. He doesn’t deserve to see how your life is going, and you don’t need the constant reminders. Close that door and destroy the key. I took TWO YEARS to heal, and to also learn who I am, and what I love. It also taught me to realize that I am happy alone, and that no one is going to enter my life unless they will bring extra light and sunshine into it. Initially, you’ll hurt, a lot. It takes time to come out of a routine you’ve been in for so long. But you’ll also be more free than ever. Good luck

Title	Finally leaving! Need advice.
Author	HereForThePeeps
Upvotes	48
Comments	5
Date	July 14, 2021 9:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/oke2uy/finally_leaving_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/finally-leaving-need-advice.791633 https://theredarchive.com/post/791633

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