Would you tell her you don't want to get married?

fnordsnord · 2016-12-16T16:56:11+00:00

It varies. Some guys around here would spin her until she forces the issue.

This forum is generally about technique, that is, HOW to reach your goals, not whether your goals are good ones or not. So you're asking an ethical question in a technical group.

But I'll go off topic, but we're straying from "the facts as I understand them" to "my ethics as I practice them."

Women have a far narrower range of reproductive years than men do. 16 - 26 are their prime reproductive years and their fertility drops off sharply after that. Yes, it's possible, and even likely, that women can get pregnant into their 30's, but the PRIME years are 16 - 26. Between 30 and 40 are the "last years." After 38, most women have actually waited "too late." I've got FOUR women in my circle of acquaintance who waited too long. It was painful to watch. While our sperm motility does drop after 40, most men can successfully father children into their 60's if they choose to.

So here's my take: IF "wife and mother" is on her bucket list AND "Dad" is definitely on your "not gonna do it" list, keeping her around just because you get along ok and the sex is good is an act of cruelty. You should have your fun for a couple of years, then cut her loose to find the father of her children.

What's in it for you? Well, for starters, you're not being a selfish douche. More practically - you're not looking down the barrel of her turning 39, realizing she's been had, screaming "I gave you the best years of my life" and then hitting you with a knife, frying pan, or worse, a fake rape charge.

Sweedie · 2016-12-16T17:19:44+00:00

You should just tell her straight up.

Why string her along when she could find another guy who's happy to get married and you could find a girl for who marriage isn't a big deal?

Refigerator1043 · 2016-12-16T21:56:34+00:00

When they're in their prime SMV years, do women tell men they're just riding the carousel until their 30s? No. So why should we extend them the same courtesy?

MrBowlfish · 2016-12-16T16:54:30+00:00

I generally tell them pretty early on that I have a bit of a problem with traditional marriage. If after a year or so I do not see myself locking this one in for making babies, I would tell her that I don't plan on marrying her or having kids with her so yeah, she can go find some guy who will.

stephcurryftw · 2016-12-16T16:49:48+00:00

If she doesn't ask, don't mention it.

l2oland · 2016-12-16T20:21:42+00:00

I told my girlfriend straight up that I don't agree with the institution of marriage, so I don't plan on marrying.

If she goes crazy over the situation, I'll just break it off.

Title	Would you tell her you don't want to get married?
Author	lovepankydud
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	December 16, 2016 3:59 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5iozb7/would_you_tell_her_you_dont_want_to_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/would-you-tell-her-you-dont-want-to-get-married.79216 https://theredarchive.com/post/79216

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