I have a history of getting used by men for sex from an early age and I just came to the realization now after getting out of a long-term relationship and talking to my best friend about it who has known me for 10+ years. The last two guys I was with were very respectful about it (including my ex-boyfriend) and didn't use me for sex. However, earlier in my life I have encountered sexual users as I have slept with guys way too soon and expected more than just physical relationships (which is not gonna happen if you have one-night stands of course, I was just young and super native). As I am the type of woman who is looking for something serious and gets attached after sex, it is probably best for me personally to not sleep with someone too soon as it decreases the chance of getting hurt.

I have reflected a little bit the past week and came to the realization that I have NEVER (I'm embarrassed) turned a guy I was seeing down for sex, even though sex felt too soon for me at that point.

How do I learn to communicate and respect my boundaries regarding sex? Is it best to meet at public places for the first few dates (we are in lockdown currently, so covid has made this almost impossible for now, we can go on walks but that is it haha) or what would you suggest?

And if a guy makes the move to sleep with you too soon, how do I communicate my boundaries without hurting his feelings and letting him know that I am interested but need more time when it comes to sex?