Some excepts from https://drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/Emotional%20Memory.html. It's a long document, but worth a read!

Introduction

A psychologist does not need to inform individuals about memory, we all know what memory is. Memory allows us to recognize faces of old classmates, remember old songs, remember good times and bad times, and remember important information about events/experiences in our life. Much like a modern-day computer, the brain stores memories in a system of files. In the past, these files were thought to contain only information or data, much like the files in an office contain patient information or file in a computer contains words or numbers. As science advances, we are beginning to know more about the brain and how it stores memories.

Recent studies in psychology and neurology tell us that the files contain not only data/information, but emotions as well. In a manner that is still partially unknown, the brain has the ability to store not only memories but emotions as well - as they occurred at the time the memory was made.

Memory files thus contain two parts, the information about the event and the feeling we had at the time of the event. Graphically put:

Memory file = Information + Feelings at the time

Developing a Treatment Plan

Let's suppose we have a strong Emotional Memory (EM), perhaps the result of an automobile accident, a childhood trauma, a life-threatening experience, a physical assault, a public embarrassment, or something equally emotionally traumatic. We can develop a treatment plan to eliminate the "emotional" part of the memory. We can never eliminate the details of the memory/experience - only brain damage or disease wipes out complete memories. The goal in the treatment of Emotional Memories (EM) is to eliminate the emotional component - the part that causes us emotional pain. If the emotional component/part is taken away, we can relate the story without fear of being upset or returning to that mood.

Keep in mind the goal with Emotional Memory (EM) - Eliminating the emotional part of the memory. One of the fastest and easiest ways to complete that task is to "water down" the emotional part of the memory. To do this, imagine having a letter saved on a computer word processor. Each time you retrieve the letter - it looks the same, reads the same, and says the same thing. If we pull it up on the computer screen, read it, then save it - nothing has changed. This is what happens when we relate Emotional Memory (EM) events to others without adding to the memory or file.

What happens if we pull up that word processor letter each day. Each time we pull it up on the screen, we add one long sentence to the letter - a sentence that is silly, unrelated to the letter, or just a bit off-base - then save it again. After two weeks we've added 14 sentences to the letter and the original letter is now gone. It's something totally different now. We use this technique to eliminate emotional parts of Emotional Memory (EM).

Technique: Each time we pull a bad Emotional Memory (EM) file, we add something to it. A comment, a joke, a physical gesture, etc. The brain will automatically save the file due to the new/added parts.

Sample Treatment Plan:

Event: We have been violently assaulted by someone.

Emotional part of the memory: The emotional component contains fears of dying, a fight-for-my-life feeling, panic, and severe anxiety.

Procedure: Each time we bring up the Emotional Memory (EM) of the event, we add something - the funnier the better. For example: "After that assault, I've canceled my scheduled bout with Mike Tyson. I'm just not up to it." or "I've decided to market a line of assault-proof underwear. You think JC Penneys would be interested?" or "I've haven't had a fight like that since I used my brother's Beatles albums as Frisbees!" It's like adding a sentence each time we review the word processor letter - watering down the original content over time. We can makeup or imagine part of the event as a humorous addition, for example "I just kept thinking during the attack, my taxes are due!!" The reactions of others to your humor will also be added to the file. This is why a World War II vet can talk calmly about horrible events during the war at the American Legion - he's discussed it so often, in so many different circumstances, that the emotional part has gone. Only the details remain. In Emotional Memory (EM), we naturally do this technique, commonly known as "getting over it". This paper just tells you how to do that faster and more efficiently. Any Emotional Memory (EM) can be approached in this manner and "watered down".

Summary

We are a collection of memories - that's who we are, what makes up our personality, what controls our behaviors, and what often produces our moods. The good Emotional Memory (EM) is a blessing to us, remembering good times during childhood, our favorite songs/events, and old friends. However, we have all collected bad or often traumatic Emotional Memory (EM) files as well. The goal of Emotional Memory (EM) Management is to control or eliminate the emotional part of those files. If we can do that, our history of bad experiences becomes just that - history. Those files become a record of where we've been and experienced, not something that continues to control our moods and behaviors.

In daily living and especially during times of stress, our memory file system is very important. It is a system that is active every second, works automatically, and can change our mood within two minutes. Our office has presented the above information with the hope that you can lower your stress and live more effectively by controlling your emotional memory files rather than allowing them to control you! Remember - our emotional file system is like our breathing, it will operate on automatic or we can take manual control. Knowing how the system operates allows us more control over our memories and daily lives.

Full text at: https://drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/Emotional%20Memory.html