Hey folks, I finished writing the second part of a series on dismantling shame attacks. When I say "bachelor," btw, I'm referring to monk mode. Here's an excerpt, with a link below if you'd like to read more.

"If you want to get somewhere, you need to deal with the obstacles on the path.  Bachelor-shaming is one of the obstacles. It can undermine your ability to live happy and contented bachelor life. It’s worth taking some time to uproot.

Shaming attacks rarely come directly, in person.  Although occasionally you’ll get some grief from a dipshit online, most of it comes from the surrounding culture – media, Hollywood, etc.  It’s a virus in the air, and until we develop a vaccine for bachelor-shaming, we’ll have to deal with it the old-fashioned way, by thinking. 

In Part I, I listed the main shaming messages bachelors get, as well as some basic strategies to deal with it.  If you missed that, here it is: [....]

In this, Part II, I’ll cover 8 more strategies.  They require a bit more thought than the others, but nothing strenuous.   Before getting to that, I need to mention a simple strategy I forgot to include last time.

Just Dismiss It

Most shaming messages – I’m guessing 95 percent – aren’t worth any time and attention.  They aren’t worth thinking about.  They aren’t worth a dispute, a comeback, a rejoinder, or an explanation. 

Most shaming messages (I’m thinking especially of the ones you get online) come from people who are not really thinking at all; they are just reacting reflexively to some phrase or idea you’ve uttered, then regurgitating a cliche they’ve absorbed from the culture.  They are not giving you any sort of rational argument.  Chances are, they haven’t even understood what you’ve said. They are just reflexively emitting a response. It’s sort of like a cognitive fart.

Don’t take it seriously.  Don’t get caught up in thinking about it or trying to respond.  Just dismiss it and get on with your day. 

When you pay attention to something, you give it importance.  Even if the thing is trivial, by giving it time and attention, you accord it importance in your mind.  Don’t give these reflexive emissions any importance. They don’t deserve it.

This is my preferred method for dealing with bachelor shaming.  I just dismiss it and move on.  It’s not worth my time and attention.  It’s not worth yours, either.

Sometimes, though, shaming messages can lodge in our heads, and they aren’t so easy to just dismiss.  After all, we are all wired to attend to social feedback, so sometimes this stuff can get under our skin. Let’s move on to some other strategies." 

https://goodbachelorhood.com/bachelor-shame-busting-part-ii/