Hey, fellow men.

I'm fairly new to this lifestyle and without doubt it's the best decision I've ever made in my entire life, and I want to tell you guys my story and how MGTOW has saved me.

First of all, let's start from the beginning.
I always considered myself a romantic/soft/nice/beta guy, whatever you name it, a guy that believed in love and romance. Mostly of that because my father and mother met when they were 13 years old, and they're together since then. Seeing their loyalty and fullfillness as a couple made me want the same thing since I was kid, and after many, many heartbreaks I finally understood that it's extremely rare to find something like that, and also all the hurting made me realize that relationships are not for me. It's not. Not worth the chase and definitely not worth my devotion. Caring so hard for others made me miserable in so many ways that I regret so much because it was all in vain, and it's hard to accept it when you're a dreamer, a guy that believes in destiny and sh*t like that.
If you're reading this and identify yourself with what I just wrote, believe me when I say that this world is rotten with the worst kind of people that will not feel regret breaking your heart, and most of them may even be the cause of a suicide or completely destroying a very intelligent and promising person and their dreams, and they will say that they're right in doing so. Believe me, I've seen it and I felt it myself. So, take care with people.

Now, for the story.
Back when I was 14 years old (I'm 25 now btw), I went to a new school and on my first day I immediately fell in love with the girl that was sitting next to me. After many months, we were like best friends, and naive as I was, felt that the same thing that happened to my parents was going to happen with me too. I asked if she wanted to date me, and what a surprise! She said 'Yes!'. Happiness. The world was very colorful. The next year, a new guy joined our class. He was kinda shy, and I wanted him to get along with everybody so I, being the good guy, started talking to him and we soon became best friends and he turned out to be a very extroverted guy and became popular with the girls due to the fact that he was good looking. Later on that year, my girlfriend went out of the classroom to 'drink water', and my best friend was not in the classroom. I had an intuition to leave too without her seeing me, and oh boy, that was the decision that made everything go downhill. I left a minute later, and started looking for her, and my school had like a 'meeting point' where people would go to get along and do kinky stuff. I went there, and I found her and my best friend making out. That scene will never leave my mind. He was strongly grabbing her butt (thing that she always said she hated) and well, that year I failed school.
All the things I loved doing became unpleasant and tiresome. She eventually broke up with me and I never said a thing about it to her, I was so numb that I just accepted it.

The next year I spent just existing, I did not go to school and my parents were ok with it because they've seen my misery and how devastated I was. So the result of my first love? 2 years of school lost and my mind, broken.

Even so, I did not became complexed in not trusting people, I always believed that everyone is different and we should not judge people by the mistakes of others. That belief made me get better and eventually I went back to a different school.

I had another 3 girlfriends till my 24's.

One of them was another classmate, that didn't last long because I didn't want to fully compromise and she also didn't. It was the most 'neutral' relationship I've had.

The third one I met on a game that I played on the internet, and we started talking and we soon became very good friends, and after 2 months and a half knowing each other we started web dating (she lived in another city, approximately 160km away where I lived). I fell in love with her, while she just wanted a guy to boost her ego and when she got it from me, she started acting cold and never telling me where she was or what she was doing in details. Eventually she said to me that I was not important in her life and that she 'had other things to do', meanwhile I was pretty much making plans so in the future we could live together. She broke up with me through a Skype video call, when she was about to leave to a party. We had a very strong discussion and she told me that she just needed a guy to reaffirm her as a woman, and I was that guy, and also that she never really loved me, even tho she said to me every f*ckn night that she loved me. I freaked out and started calling her a f*ckn b*tch and all 'compliments' I could think of. She blocked me everywhere.
A suffering month later, I stalked her with a fake Facebook profile, and guess what? She was dating another guy.
I feel fine to talk about it now, but at that time, I was in major pain. I started thinking about suicide, started thinking that maybe I was not good and didn't deserve to live.
This happened in 2015.

2 Years after that (2017), I met a girl on Tinder. She was very cool and different, we had the same taste in music, she was a quiet, goth and cute girl. We soon started seeing each other and hanging out. After just 2 weeks seeing each other, I asked if she wanted to date and she accepted it. Things were going awesomely good. Sometimes I felt she being kinda off, uncomfortable with my presence, but I never really stopped to think about it, thought it was just her own personality. After three months dating, out of nothing, she sent me a bible-worthy text on Whatsapp telling me that due to her anxiety and depression, she didn't want to go on with me, saying that I deserved better and all that stuff. I obviously said that I wanted to be close and help her and be there for her, but she denied it and broke up. I got really pissed off, that being the fourth time I was dumped, and I took my anger out on her. This is one of the things I will regret forever, she didn't deserve the things I said to her on that day. The same thing happened, girl blocked me everywhere. A month later, I felt really lonely and went back on Tinder. After some swiping, what a surprise! She was there, with all new photos, new hairstyle, new everything. What a punch in the stomach.

From 2017 to 2019, I became nihilistic, kinda of alpha male, and really skeptic with relationships, and with that, I started banging more girls than ever, a thing that was really difficult when I was beta/good guy. I really don't know how, but girls just were into me.

Then we get to 2020.
I was not feeling comfortable anymore with the casual stuff. I again, wanted more, a girl to be a partner in crime. Went back to my old friend Tinder. Met a girl and after a long time, I felt that I should give it another try. She was without doubts, the most alike version of myself. We had massive things in common, which made me start to believe again in destiny and soulmates and, well, beta things. After 4 months knowing each other very well, and I mean very well, I said I loved her during sex, and asked if she wanted to date. She said that she loved me too, and said yes. As always, I was feeling good and in peace with the relationship. Thought she was the one. We were making plans, thinking about the future. I felt at my early 20's, a younger and optimistic version of myself.
We were doing great. She had a very hard life, and her mom was a pain in her ass. They were constantly arguing, and she wanted to leave her mom's house asap. EXACTLY a month later that I said I loved her and we started dating (which was October 12th), on November 12th, she broke up with me through a Whatsapp text message, saying that she tried to feel things with me but was unable to, that she felt empty and never really loved me, and wanted to focus on her own life and her problems. After all the things we shared, after all the moments we had, the plans for the future, the chemistry, she saying she loved me looking into my eyes, well, all those things didn't matter in the end. She broke up with me through a text. We didn't talk in person, I didn't listen her voice saying those things to me, I just read it. The most absurd thing is that I never knew what happened that made her do this. Accordingly to her, she was going through so much and didn't feel like having a relationship. I tried to comprehend, and stay friends because that girl was very important to me, but at the same time, my mind was clogged with paranoia, thinking it was the same all over again... love a girl, she dumps me and a month or two later she's dating another guy. I was going through so much pain that I decided to post my story with her on a relationship subrredit to see what other people would say about it (about staying friends or not), and told every detail of everything of our relationship on the said post. The thing is, I sent the post to my ex's best friend to know her opinion too, and she sent it back to my ex. My ex turned out furious that I 'exposed her personal story', even tho I didn't mention names. She blocked me everywhere. Pain and more pain. I tried to stay on my job, but was unable to, because I couldn't concentrate, so I quitted. For days I didn't want to get up from bed, and the suicidal thoughts came into my mind again.

Told to my close friends that I found myself one night at the kitchen, holding a knife, thinking about ending it all. I didn't want to cause trouble to my parents, didn't want to hurt them, and that was what stopped me from killing myself. If I had a dysfunctional family, I would've done it. My best friend told me about a thing called 'MGTOW' and how this lifestyle helped him and could help me through all this mess. So I searched for it, and that changed my life. Reading people's experiences, motivational and at the same time realistic posts, it was all I needed. Motivation, hope, wisdom. I started slow, focusing on myself, improving myself, started to learn piano and guitar which I always wanted to play. I started to feel better again, viewing things from a different angle, you know? The way the things are, not the way I dream it to be. Started to focus on my family and friends, and well, my life went back on the trails.

So here we are, January 2021, two months later. Guess what? My paranoia was right. Found out yesterday that my ex is dating another guy, just two months after she broke up with me saying that she wasn't ready, and saying things like she could never trust another guy again (after she saw my post), and oh, I forgot to say that I talked to her on December 26th, and she said that she's too busy to try to date again, see another guy or anything like that. Yeah, right.
Even tho I loved this girl so f*ckn much, it doesn't hurt anymore. I just feel pity that she lost a guy like me, a guy that would have done anything for her. It's her loss, not mine. I was loyal, was there for her. Now I can see through all the bullsh*t she told me, her rage of a post just to come out on top as the good girl and turning me into the villain of story, so she doesn't feel bad about herself breaking up with a guy that was trying his best making her happy. I dunno how I would feel if I found her dating another guy if I didn't find the MGTOW. I would've probably break for good because I really loved this girl.

Well, f*ck it. A woman will not be my demise. I am damaged of all that happened, of course. I lost my job, lost dreams, lost people that really mattered to me, but now I will be a better person for myself, because I deserve it for everything I went through. For loving so hard, for caring. That's what I know now. And to everyone out there that feel like what I just wrote, hopeless and destroyed, you should also say this to your inner self. We are great people, and we will prevail on this world where relationships can break as easy as an egg's shell. We don't need this kind of weak sh*t into our lives. Enjoy your freedom, enjoy yourself. Enjoy family and your friends.
You may one day find a very special woman (if you want one) to be with you through thick and thin, but as I said on the beginning of this post, it's very rare nowadays, and you may not find it, especially one that is ok with this lifestyle.

But it's fine, life is much more than that and the main point is that we don't need woman to be happy.

Thank you so much for reading all of this. I wish us all the best on our way.