I (M42) date lots of younger women, end game advise needed.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-01-09T16:53:39+00:00

Well, I see /u/Auvergnat put up the BatSignal, so here I am.

I have a few female friends of around 23 to 27 years old

"Friends" who you "date"?

I generally tend to be cool around them do not show any sexual interest in them

I see where you're going wrong.

I dont want to look like a creepy older guy....

Men desire young, beautiful (our word for 'symmetrical') women because those traits imply fertility and on a genetic level our "mission" is to drive our DNA into the future. Never apologize for your desires as a man. The 'creepy' narrative is driven older women who tarried too long, believed the "you can be sexy at any age!" lie, and are terrified that men in their age cohort will forsake them to bang younger, more attractive women and leave older women without a man's resources to support them in their cat-lady dotage.

For every older man who bangs younger women, a cat lady is born.

...I always end up being friendzoned, so what I am doing wrong ?

You are friendzoning yourself. Make your intentions clear from the start. You are not talking to a younger woman so you can be her "father figure", you are talking to her so you can be her "daddy".

...and how other older men view dating and engaging younger women ?

Bear in mind that there are 3 types of young women: the first group thinks that dating anyone more than 3 or 4 years older than they are is "totally grody" or whatever the kids say these days, the second type is open to an older lover, but prefers guys her own age, and the third group actively prefers older men. Rather than fixating on one girls, you need to do multiple approaches and start dating, mating and plating girls in group 3. They get totally "shamed" for their preferences by girls in the first group, so you have to work at it.

You also need to put yourself in the best position for success. See Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy

Source: I'm 49 and my two primary plates are both 21. I basically run a soft harem, ranging from 19-24. My math teacher lied: 49 goes into 21 just fine.

kankouillotte · 2017-01-09T16:04:33+00:00

Don't let the current "all guys are creeps" feminist discourse reach you.

Just escalate as if she were 40, dont take age into account.

Auvergnat · 2017-01-09T15:31:15+00:00

I generally tend to be cool around them do not show any sexual interest in them because I don't want to look like a creepy older guy so I feel I generate lots of confidence with them , basically I always end up being friendzoned, so what I am doing wrong ?

Not as old as you to judge on this as a factor, but this is the classical outcome of not escalating physically so I wouldn't be supervised it applies to you as well.

how other older men view dating and engaging younger women ?

paging uncle /u/VasiliyZaitzev

MattyAnon · 2017-01-10T01:07:59+00:00

I always end up being a father figure to them and they love to talk to me and they feel like a lady in the presence of a gentleman

Stop doing this if you want to bang them.

Don't listen to their problems - laugh at them.

Don't offer support.

Be selfish.

do not show any sexual interest in them

Obvious mistake.

Show direct and obvious and overt sexual interest in them as well as push/pull and teasing.

because I dont want to look like a creepy older guy

A lot... a LOT... a fucking shitload.... of young women like (Love) older men. Like 20 years older. It's fucking awesome.

Some will see you as creepy, you need to ignore this shaming language. Mostly it will come from people trying to remove you or them as competition (young men and older women). It's a shit test of sorts. Shaming you is designed to profit them.

Don't feel it as creepy. Were you banging girls throughout your 20's? Probably not, because they were banging older guys half the time. Now it's your turn, and you deserve it.

Creepy = sexual interest from unattractive man. It's that simple. It's absolutely just that simple.

how other older men view dating and engaging younger women ?

Totally in favour. Highly recommended. Young women are a fucking breath of fresh air after dating nightmare entitled women in their 30's.

After 40 they lighten up a bit, but by then it's all over in the looks department unless they are exceptional.

20-30 yr old women are great, but some suggestions:

Zero attachment. They're flakey and irrational, looking out for Chad with one eye and marriage with the other. Their feelings are transient. Don't take anything they say seriously or base your life on anything they say or do. Don't hold them accountable for anything, they hate you for it and see someone else instead. But conversely don't allow them to make promises because their promises are utterly worthless. Just cut them off with "who knows what the future holds?"
Sex, sex, sex. Primarily it's about sex. They aren't interested in dating or you bring a nice guy or a provider. They want sex and fun. And it's your job to provide both. Without it being her fault.
Provide NOTHING. Do not buy her. Don't listen to her shit (she does NOT appreciate it if you do), don't buy her anything, don't pay for stuff beyond incidentals. A fantastic meal experience is fine, but it's only an experience. She'll get as much value out of something that costs you nothing. Do not think you are betabux just because you're older, you're not and you don't have to be.
Expect her to have an amazingly high sex drive if she sees you as alpha and a completely dry pussy if she sees you as beta. This is utterly perplexing but is how they are. Sometimes in rapid alternation. The high sex drive is staggering if you beta-dated women in your 20's and believed that women aren't that interested in sex.
Everything in the world is how she feels right now. If she's not horny then girls don't like sex and that's true of all her friends and it's something that men have to just accept. If she's horny then all girls are always horny and men should accommodate that and just give them what they want. If she's attracted to you then so are all girls and always have been and you should have eyes for only her. If she's not attracted to you then no other girl is either so you have to pay her for her time because she's not interested in sex and that's true when she talked to all her friends about it too.
Forget romance, go for emotions and experience and visceral thrills and pleasures and sensations.
Treat her like a child who can't make up her mind and needs to be led, but NEVER TELL HER THIS you sexist shitlord. Take her for icecream.
Ask nothing, give nothing (apart from the awesome experience of being with you). DO NOTHING THAT BENEFITS HER LIFE WHEN YOU AREN'T THERE.
Don't accept any responsibility for any part of her life.
Be mysterious!
Don't pretend to be a young guy. Be an awesome older guy. Dress for it. You're the cool older guy dating the hot girl - be that.
Try not to choke on your drink if she accidentally calls you "daddy".
If she calls you daddy, expect a rollercoaster of neediness and craziness and keep one eye firmly on the door at all times.
Don't expect her to be monogamous. She probably won't expect it of you.
She'll shit test, but she's probably not very good at it. While she's had a wide range of dating experiences, most men suck at dating women. She has a lot of experience against soft and easy targets.
Walk the middle ground by walking the high ground AND the low ground. Not too beta, not too alpha. Push as well as pull. Teasing but not too far. Caring but not listening to her shit. Don't let her categorise you too easily.

Some1son · 2017-01-09T15:50:15+00:00

Posting for later

mrpoopistan · 2017-01-09T16:47:09+00:00

I dont want to look like a creepy older guy

Which ends up making you look like a creepy old guy. Women tend to have a better radar for little displays of non-confidence. They get the radar ping, and then they start probing. Once they get validation of the ping, they start pushing you into a beta-ized role and see whether you're comfortable swimming in it.

The general advice I give to all guys, regardless of age differences, is don't bullshit women about your intentions. If sex is your intention, don't act like pretending to be her super-swell gay friend or platonic daddy figure entitles you to sex.

In fact, that's my go-to neg on guys who have groups of women I'm try to gain access to. If I see a guy who has sexual intent but isn't pushing it, I'll flat-out call it out in front of the women. Something in the form of, "Jesus Christ, man, if you're interested get in there and show it."

Whatever your intentions are, follow them. Women will at least respect you a little more for being better than all the pussified guys who can't at least display their intentions honestly.

1v1mebruh · 2017-01-09T19:35:29+00:00

I generally tend to be cool around them do not show any sexual interest in them because I dont want to look like a creepy older guy so I feel I generate lots of confidence with them , basicly I always end up being friendzoned, so what I am doing wrong ?

Lmaoo bro come on. Back to the sidebar...

miareve · 2017-01-09T17:08:40+00:00

Younger girl here (23) just chiming in. Most of the time we are apprehensive ourselves to initiate any flirting even if we are very attracted to you (esp if we haven't had any experience in this older man territory before) so I could see why it's really easy to limbo in the friendzone if YOU don't initiate.

I would say to test the waters for little signs she might be interested and definitely don't be afraid to spark some sexual tension or make a move.

In fact, assertiveness is one of the most important qualities that attract younger women to older gents such as yourself. But as I said, this concept can be completely foreign until someone just opens the door to it.

Best of luck!

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-01-09T17:09:15+00:00

These things are always up to the interaction between the specific male and specific female....I know others have a different approach, but the whole father figure thing, I flee from like the plague. Big burly fuckers like Uncle V. can get away with that, but I'm 5'9" and 150 pounds...with a newly minted degree & career. I go more for a peer type relationship with a promise of a good time.....my targets in the VYW department are the STEM types.

edit: 44 y/o, last LTR was a smokeshow 20 years my junior, sent her off to a fancy grad school, looking for 2-3 replacements, avoiding women my age like the plague.

Title	I (M42) date lots of younger women, end game advise needed.
Author	lepel74
Upvotes	4
Comments	24
Date	January 9, 2017 3:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5my387/i_m42_date_lots_of_younger_women_end_game_advise/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-m42-date-lots-of-younger-women-end-game-advise.80508 https://theredarchive.com/post/80508

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