From my 20's to early 30's life has been tough. Is this normal for men?

Kooky_Air · 2020-07-21T08:59:26+00:00

It's bullshit,people make it up as they go along.

Luck of the draw,you can try and stack the deck in your favour but this cunt of a thing called life gets in the way. Is all random,stop comparing yourself to others,who gives a shit what they have. Be happy with what YOU have.

CuriousIncel2 · 2020-07-21T11:11:41+00:00

Shit doesn't get better by itself, only worse.

The assumption is that you're putting your nose to the grind, saving money, working out and learning skills, instead of partying, drinking and doing drugs.

TerdBrgler · 2020-07-21T08:54:13+00:00

You may need to become open to moving. I never thought I’d leave my college home town, but when I did, my earnings and life improved dramatically. Now I’d never move back to the cesspit where I was spawned and raised.

latto744 · 2020-07-21T09:54:32+00:00

Yep. Totally normal. I worked fucking crap shit jobs until I was about early 30s. Not dishwasher in a slum kitchen type shit but just unpleasant construction type jobs. Nights, weekends, Christmas day, freezing weather, Friday nights, 2am-2pm, that type of thing.

What got me out was getting an iron grip on my finances. Apart from rent, I seriously did not spend any money. Saving became an addiction. I'd even try and eat as little as possible NOT to spend money on food. I'd live on oats and coffee and fruit I got at work. I lost 45 pounds. Shower at the gym to save on hot water. That type of thing. I got to age 34, quit that horseshit job and gave myself 6 months to figure something out. I sure had the cash. Made it easier. Landed a job after a month of shooting for the stars and not looked back once.

RunawayGrain · 2020-07-21T12:14:58+00:00

I'd have to say that can be the trajectory, as long as you get it somewhat together in your twenties.

The first thing is look around and realize the major pitfalls that jack guys:

Girls, substance abuse, finances.

Girls because they are resource hogs by nature. If they get a kid on you you are screwed. Basically wants to enslave you. Also winds up messing with your emotions which can cripple you for a long time.

Substance Abuse: Just like a girl, but you inject or snort it.

Finances: You can become a slave to your finances through worry. This from both extremes of poverty and wealth. Impoverished people worry constantly about their finances so they don't wind up destitute. Some wealthy people wind up obsessed with their finances.

Better to establish working income streams.

In short, if you avoid all that you will eventually be better off than 90% of the population. Oh, and as for the beat up car, I have a couple of clients who are obscenely wealthy. They drive old beaters. Not because they are cheap bu because they avoid ostentatious displays of wealth. Just something to ruminate on...

Thiccibus · 2020-07-21T08:50:34+00:00

That's life. The question is, what do you define as a good life and what are you doing to make it happen?

BMWM5Lover · 2020-07-21T11:52:25+00:00

Yeah it’s just life. I had all crappy jobs, worked in target in mid 20’s for $7.50 an hour and had a baby. No health insurance and a crap old Buick. Joined the military to get the hell out off that. Left Army and went to college at 30. Life is a struggle. Damn hard at times but just gotta keep pushing. Biggest thing I’ve learned is that it’s all about who you know in life. I work in engineering and could not get job after college due to no experience in field, join local engineering groups and make friends with the right people and all of a sudden your good enough for a job. Sucks but that’s life.

nuako11 · 2020-07-21T10:59:58+00:00

This is so relatable for me. In my late 20s too mahn and my mind is always in a dozen places figuring how to make more money, become a better version of myself while maintaining my 9-5. It feels like working multiple jobs which is so tiring. I understand this life is all a process but this phase of my life is so overwhelming...

BertTheWelder · 2020-07-21T14:25:20+00:00

When I was 30 I was working part time and had just enrolled in graduate school. I ate a lot of ramen and I drove a crown Victoria I got from a police auction for something like 1500 bucks because my 12,000 dollar car was repossessed because I couldn’t make the 320-per-month car payment that I had at 18-percent interest.

Today, around ten years later, I have more money in the bank than I ever thought possible and I own (outright) every cool car I ever dreamed of, including a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, a Porsche, and a number of other non-exotics that are still cool as fuck.

I’m not going to lie and say that luck didn’t play a role in where I am today... but it was luck plus preparation. I studied hard and I worked hard and I never, ever lost faith in myself. That’s the key part, man. You have to believe that you’re to succeed because there are too many incentives to quit when the going gets hard. You know how sometimes life is sucking pretty bad and then something you couldn’t possibly foresee happens and makes all that other bad shit seem small in comparison? Sometimes it goes the other way, too. Sometimes something you can’t foresee happens and it changes everything for the better.

My specific path isn’t relevant because the door to get into what I do closed a few years back. But here are some tips that truly helped me get where I am.

Don’t burn bridges. My first job in this industry came in my thirties because I didn’t burn a bridge when I left a job in my early 20’s. Some minor player at that company remembered me as having a good work ethic and being a smart guy.... and he happened to be friends with the owner of the company I applied to.
If you’re working, work hard. If you’re studying, study hard. Opportunities don’t wait for you to be ready to take them. You need to better yourself as much as you can so when one comes around you’re able to credibly step up and take it.
Lie to yourself in a positive way. You know how we always worry about shit and tell ourselves stories about what’s going to go wrong, why something won’t work, etc.? Those are little lies we tell ourselves. Our fears aren’t truths. So tell yourself positive lies about good shit happening. You’ll likely be wrong, but you’re usually wrong when you lie to yourself in a negative way. Being positive helps you get through a lot of bad times.
if you want to make a shitload of money, make sure you’re going into a field where that’s even possible. If you want to be rich and you want to be a teacher, you’re not going to get both. Look for a field where it’s reasonably possibly to make whatever it is you’re looking to make.
Don’t shit where you eat; never date people in the workplace.
And most importantly, don’t give up. Pretty much every historical success that you read about had setbacks, slumps, and catastrophes. That’s part of life. It doesn’t mean you won’t succeed in the end just because you had some setbacks.

It does get better, but it doesn’t just get better on its own. It gets better if you work on bettering yourself. Good things are a side effect of that. Keep your head up and don’t give up.

lindoai · 2020-07-21T09:55:34+00:00

Age dont matter

Plenty of very successful very young guys

Pedang_Katana · 2020-07-21T13:04:32+00:00

There is something called mid-life crisis and I'm actually experiencing it myself right now. Going my own way definitely helps a lot cause it would lessen the burden of my mind, and not having to constantly 'maintain' relationship with your loved one.

Calberic42 · 2020-07-21T11:50:41+00:00

Yup, don't worry. It will get worse.

entropyoverdrive · 2020-07-21T11:51:05+00:00

Well some guys here do well money wise, but it's not always like that.

I've worked for 20+ years, had 2 businesses that failed within a few years, and have f*ck all to show for it. To be honest, I don't have much hope with the corona recession, and let's just say it's gonna be interesting.

jazzy3113 · 2020-07-21T13:47:44+00:00

We need more info.

What was your childhood like? Stable nuclear family? Good education?

What career have you chosen to get into?

Toasty_Nuggetz · 2020-07-21T16:14:14+00:00

I think it's completely true. I worked really hard in my 20's, and wound up with a great education and career, so I'm killing it now. I don't think you will gain these things unless you are willing to work hard for them. But also, you will become a lot more calm, relaxed, and focused on your goals. Your sex drive goes down, so it doesn't distract you.

Basically, my 30's just feel like my 20's, except I have a lot more money, and I can basically do all the things I wanted to do when I was 20, but couldn't afford. Overall, life is good. Don't lose hope man, keep going and work hard, and you'll see what I mean. I felt the same way when I was in my 20's, but I worked hard and it paid off.

dmjdkfkgkvkfkr · 2020-07-21T20:28:01+00:00

10s and 20s were harder than 30s only if you put in work.

30s, 40s, 50s can be much easier if you play well.

gsharm · 2020-07-22T22:08:15+00:00

Your experience and skills are cumulative. With compounding interest. Of course it gets better.

KaskyNightblade · 2020-07-22T16:08:18+00:00

27 here. I've spent my early twenties studying at Med school, I've been working for like 2 years although I haven't save almost no money. I've just got a good job that pays well and offers me a stable way of income.

So I think I'm ready to grind. It's not easy, I miss a lot of thing that youths usually experience. But I think I'm now ready to go. I can only hope thing get easier. But then I remember that line from Dogs, a Pink floyd song: It's gonna get harder and harder and harder... As you get older.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-07-23T02:22:23+00:00

Things can get better but you need to avoid trouble. If you are a guy in his 20s or 30s you don't need to save a lot. Just invest a little and take up a hobby. It is/has been brutal for me and no one is going to give you a hand because you're not a woman. So, you have to give yourself a hand. Once you finally start figuring it out everything just flows on autopilot. Including the money.

RedPillMissionary · 2020-07-21T15:13:39+00:00

Highschool was awful for me, because of my mother. I wasted about five years after that. Around 26 i started my career in a new city far away. Around 28 i lost 50 pounds and got ripped. I started meeting a lot of girls and then tinder became popular. Then i learned spanish and started taking trips, meeting women in latin america. Now 37, i feel like i accomplished everything i ever wanted. I moved back to the midwest to help my old man.

[deleted] · 2020-07-21T14:16:11+00:00

[removed]

frenchlouve · 2020-07-21T14:39:35+00:00

I agree 100% with the guy who said move. I felt like a new person when I finally moved out of my state. When I moved to a different state, I didn't make more money. But my old life, my old anxieties, my old problems were back in my old state and I could now start fresh. This feeling of "nobody knows who I am, so I can be someone different" helped immensely in my self esteem. I recommend moving.

Solo_and_Simple · 2020-07-21T13:15:52+00:00

Yup. That's how it was for me, too. Hang in there, keep plugging away. Things DO get better. I'm 58 now, and I've never been happier with my life. By comparison, I was stressed out and struggling through most of my 20s and 30s. Some of that was career, some of that was women, some of that was my own demons.

I'd suggest, though, that you try to enjoy the present, rather than just focus on how things will be better someday. You don't want your whole focus to be on the idea that "things will be better when ____." That's actually a recipe for unhappiness. See if you can find a way to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

In other words, while you are working to better your life (or just get through it), devote some time, reflection, and study to the question of "How can I be more content now, with what I have?"

Dead_Art · 2020-07-21T13:12:41+00:00

Yes.

wayback4722 · 2020-07-26T03:13:32+00:00

It’s normal for human beings. It’s life

TheApricotCavalier · 2020-07-21T14:05:09+00:00

Yes. During this time you are powerless; still figuring out how the world works. You are at the mercy of others, and the truth today is that society is very hostile to you. In your 30s you become established & can look out for yourself better.

People say men peak in their 30s; I don't agree with this, your body only goes down over time. But your social status does pick up.

> Then they're like oh it only gets better,

Not always, thats survivorship bias. Nothing will happen until you make it happen.-

Title	From my 20's to early 30's life has been tough. Is this normal for men?
Author	bayfarm
Upvotes	31
Comments	43
Date	July 21, 2020 8:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/hv3tr6/from_my_20s_to_early_30s_life_has_been_tough_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/from-my-20s-to-early-30s-life-has-been-tough-is.806766 https://theredarchive.com/post/806766

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