I appreciate anyone who reads this and has any good advice for a man potentially going through a divorce. I'm in my late 30s, and we've been together for 7 years, married for almost 2. The first years of our relationship were amazing and we made it through a lot - long distance, moving across states, job changes, and then finally I bought a house, then we got married.

There were some communication problems before we got married but I guess I didn't see them as being as serious as she did - I thought we were happy. She's always been reserved, being an only child that was a bit neglected by her mother. I grew up with a brother and a bigger family and have a decent friend group. Most of her friends live out of state, and she doesn't have many friends to hang out with. She's always been a person that just "blows things up" and walks away... I guess I accepted this and thought we had something different. I thought I "got her". We hung out a lot, laughed a lot... but sex went downhill. I was depressed and I agreed to go to counseling and get on Lexapro. She was also having issues of her own and did the same. She started seeing a counselor and couldn't stop raving about how great therapy was. It started with her addressing her alcoholic, now deceased father, then it seemed hyper-focused on her mother and her anger there... then her job, so she quit and got a new one.. and then the focus turned to me. It seemed like her therapist was just helping her point the finger at everything externally in her life and not focusing on her own issues. She became much more independent and it seemed like if I said up, she said down.

Then last year during covid she wrote me a letter saying that she felt she wasn't being heard and moved to her mom's for a month. At the time I felt blindsided and pretty angry and frustrated but I promised to address her issues and she moved back in. We tried some relationship books but then I agreed to go to marriage counseling with her. We started that towards the end of 2019 and I thought things were improving some - we learned about our communication breakdown/cycle. Although I had issues of my own with her (she smokes pot and sits in her office by herself and watches movies all the time and just felt increasingly distant despite my attempts to connect), but I just wanted to focus on HER issues with me, as she kept expressing how unhappy she was, even though I thought we had a pretty good life together.

Therapy didn't really seem to be helping us address any of our day to day arguments, and both working from home and being locked in the house non-stop for COVID made things even worse. I also found out recently that she went off her Lexapro cold-turkey, which is NOT good. She shrugged it off.

Last week, she said she wanted to start shopping separately and buy all of her own groceries and I could buy mine - and I argued with her instead of just letting her do it. Not because I care if she buys her own food, but because I enjoy having meals with her and was one of the things we shared together and also because it just felt like one of the last things we did together - I just wanted to talk about it more. She immediately turned it into a fight and said "I can't do this anymore". She told me she wanted a divorce. It wasn't even a big blowout fight. This isn't the first time she has said this in as many months I do feel like I've really, authentically tried. I feel like she is depressed and unhappy with herself but refuses to admit this. She blames it all on our marriage and told me that she thinks our "relationship has reached its conclusion." I can't even explain how sad this makes me as every decision I've made in the last 7 years has been for her, or for us. We were so happy. I just don't understand how it got to this.

I've tried it all since then - being positive... breaking down crying and telling her how much I love her... trying to give her space to think... Writing her a letter telling her how sorry I was that I didn't "hear" her concerns and that I am willing to do anything to keep our marriage together and fix our relationship and that she is my best friend. I never really believed that we were to THIS point until now. She canceled with the therapist. I feel like there was never an authentic gesture on her part to "try" but she claims she doesn't have it in her to "try" anymore and just can't do it anymore.

So now she is living here for the next month and apparently moving into her mom's at the end of February. I am numb. I'm going through a range of emotions. I am trying my best to be nice, to be civil, to give her space... hoping she'll change her mind.. but knowing her, when she digs her heels in, that's the end of it. I just don't know what to do. Knowing that I'm about to be left in this house alone with just me and the dog and be divorced, to not have the person I've spent 7, mostly in my eyes pretty happy years with makes me incredibly sad.

She says she wants to keep this civil and try to remain friends. We don't own a lot together, have never shared bank accounts or pooled our finances short of splitting bills, and have no kids and make around the same money. I want things to remain civil but I'm not sure how we can remain friends after this. I don't know how to act. I've tried everything I can think of already to convince her to stay or win her back short of begging and pleading, calling her mother to talk, etc. I really believed we could figure it out. I don't see any reason we can't make it work. I just wish there was a way to save our marriage - I wish I could even understand what I did wrong or what I could've changed. Even though there were things I wanted her to work on, I never tried to "change" her and often made excuses for her not doing anything around the house, being in the mood to make love, etc. I feel like I picked up all the slack. Now we're here. And I wish I could fix it. But having her in the house for the next month, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do from here or how to act around her...

TL;DR: My wife is leaving me at the end of February and I have no idea how to react.