Originally posted in legal advice but was removed because it doesn't ask a clear legal question. I'm really desperate for advice.

My ex and I are in litigation for our children. We were not married and there is a lot of other back story but I'll spare it. I've been the sole provider for the kids during the school year for about 9 months and she is now moving back into the area. We intend to settle with joint custody but even if we can't come to an agreement that will likely be the judgement.

Regardless our "Pre-trial settlement conference" is set for Wednesday. That paperwork says ALL PARTIES AND THEIR COUNCIL OF RECORD MUST APPEAR" My lawyer has told me several time that I don't need to show. He has also told me I didn't need to show for any other case management meetings. My ex is continuously emailing me stating I need to be there to settle this. I want to trust the lawyer and think he has my best interests, but feel he may be dragging this out to make more hourly. I DO NOT want to go to court or have my kids in front of a judge.

Edit: in Missouri

Should I go anyway?