My wife and I found out we were expecting a little while ago, and she's about 11 weeks along now. Last week, we had our first checkup with an OB, and I feel pretty disgusted about how it was handled.

This appointment was to be the first ultrasound of our child. Its an internal ultrasound, but not unlike the ultrasounds that come later in the pregnancy. I have been excited for weeks waiting to see the first glimpse of my first child, and receive pictures from the OB. My wife has been excited too, but not so much about the procedure itself, since its invasive and can be uncomfortable. I've been even more anxious and excited, since we were supposed to have this appointment a week earlier, but we drove all the way to the hospital day-of and were turned away and rescheduled due to someone on site having Chicken Pox... Anyways....

We get to the waiting room and check in. There are about 4 other women there for various pregnancy check-ups. Two of them with their husbands/significant others in attendance. So I was one of 3 total men in the room. While checking in, they tell my wife her bladder needs to be empty for the procedure, so she gets led through the doors to the bathroom while I wait in the waiting area for her to get back.

I wait about 15 min and start to get a little concerned that my wife isn't back from the restrooms yet, so I shoot her a text and wait a bit more. By then, a few other patients have been called in to see the OB, and my wife's name wasn't called yet, so we still have time. The patients that had their SOs in attendance went together through the doors to see the OB, so I'm still just waiting in the waiting room, as the only guy left there. After about 30 min, I send my wife a few more texts, getting worried that maybe she got some more morning sickness or, god forbid, fell or something. But I keep hearing the restroom doors opening and toilets flushing, so I figure if she was in trouble or sick, someone would have got to her by now and informed me. So I shoot off the texts and wait a bit longer.

By about 45 min later, our name still hasn't been called, but my wife is still not back from the restroom. At this point, I'm just about to go up to the window again to have the lady at the desk get someone to check on my wife, when my wife comes out through the doors holding a bunch of paperwork... and two photos of our child from the ultrasound....

She just held them up and I could tell she was expecting me to be excited, but saw my face (surprised and sad), so she asked what was wrong, and I told her we'd talk in the car.

I explained how upset I was, basically on the verge of tears because my expectations were shattered, and she eventually understood. She insisted she didn't know there'd be photos, so she didn't bother asking the nurses to go get me, but like... its an ultrasound, of course there will be photos. And there's decisions being made, without my input....

I just can't shake how shitty the experience was. Apparently, as she left the bathroom, she was ushered into a room by a nurse immediately to see the OB. No one in the building once thought to ask me to join, or even let me know they were seeing her -- including my wife. I didn't get a single response to a text for over 45 min until she saw me again in person. They didn't call her name, because obviously she was being seen already, but they didn't think to let me know -- even though we both checked in together and had our temperatures taken (covid precaution) together. And my wife had her first ultrasound done and made decisions about blood tests for the baby without me in the room, or even knowing she was being seen by staff.

So what was supposed to be a wonderful day, turned into me feeling like I was a second class citizen in the life of my child already, without it being born yet. And my reaction to the ultrasound photos (shock and sadness) ruining the day for my wife as well...