Why do most men commit suicide in their 40's?

SandorYarpClegane · 2021-06-12T13:44:03+00:00

I am a man in his 40s, I can give my perspective and some of my thoughts (I am NOT suicidal in any way but these thoughts do happen).

We feel old and useless. We still have the mindset we are in our 20s or 30s and try to do stuff we used to do with ease and we can’t do it anymore or struggle with it. Hell some mornings I make the horrible mistake of getting out of bed and my back is now sore the rest of the day and can barely move.

Our testosterone levels drop, which makes us get depressed and not feel good. We don’t know why we feel so bad and because we are men and have been told our whole lives to “suck it up and be a man” we don’t say anything just suffer in silence.

In today’s world, being a man sucks we are constantly labeled as something. Look at a younger woman wrong, you’re a creep (where a just few years ago same circumstances might have got you a phone number or date). I love babies and toddlers, they are my favorite age I love seeing them learning, and acting silly to make them laugh.... While it’s still looked down upon on even with younger males, being older you get labeled as a chomo and strange looks if you interact with one.

But the biggest reason, loneliness.

This is all my opinion.

Responsible_Wash_430 · 2021-06-12T13:51:38+00:00

In your 20’s and 30’s you’ve got time and hope. By your 40’s you’re essentially stuck with whatever decisions you’ve made (spouse, kids, career). I’m in my early 30’s and feel I’m already going through that existential crisis. I’m not suicidal, but I look to the future with dread. There’s some lyrics from the black metal band MGLA that to me sum it up perfectly:

“The great truth is there isn’t one. And it only gets worse since that conclusion.”

UnconventionalXY · 2021-06-12T14:44:00+00:00

The 40's has traditionally been the time of mid-life crises for men for many decades, well before suicides seemed to increase recently.

I would suggest the mid-life crisis is a response to feeling trapped into a life one did not expect and suicides are a result of that mid-life crisis not only intensifying but having no resolution. In the past, men would have a mid-life crisis and change their life to do the things they had expected: there was an option to actually do something about it, but now I think men have no options and the prospect of being imprisoned for the rest of their life in a life they never wanted becomes too much.

I would say that the pressures on men are now insufferable: being completely held hostage to access to sex; able to be raped of their resources without being able to get sex in return; able to be criminalised just for being a man; being emasculated and coerced to become women with penises; less opportunity to express masculinity; fewer jobs and declining real incomes; pressure to keep up with the Joneses by their partner; women believing men are responsible for every subjective uncomfortable feeling they have; women's rights overwhelming men's rights; etc.

obligatoryclevername · 2021-06-12T19:15:56+00:00

At 40 you can no longer convince yourself that you're just a late bloomer.

MancunianMuffin · 2021-06-12T12:46:32+00:00

I look at some men in their 40's that seem like they've got their shit together but they can seem quite withdrawn, not that outspoken....I'm just wondering if there's anything about that age which all men go through which is a struggle to deal with

duhhhh · 2021-06-12T13:00:05+00:00

The U bend happiness of life curve says most people are unhappy in their 40s and early 50s? (tons of articles about this if you search the web) Financial pressures of parents, spouse, and kids? Age discrimination in the workplace starts? Divorce and child custody issues?

BigBadBootyDaddy10 · 2021-06-12T18:18:26+00:00

Example. Man in his 40s, dealing with a child custody battle. You gave everything you had into the marriage. Yet, she’s the victim, Even though though shes the one who spent your money and had affairs.

awsdlefthandbutton · 2021-06-12T21:58:59+00:00

40's common age for divorce

40's common age for kids leaving home.

If both have happened then for many men there is no motivation to do anything because they have no-one to support, no purpose in life.

40's common age to find all your friends are old people with an old person mindset.

40's workplace will see you as expendable and getting the same level role after is hard.

Essentially it seems like the world is saying 'you are no longer needed' a bit like stage 1 of a rocket.

Dikki93 · 2021-06-12T13:29:10+00:00

40+ is the common age for divorce, which with the loss of a spouse comes with financial struggles, loss of of children and many cases homelessness wich are all leading causes for male mental health issues.

Cedalito · 2021-06-12T13:45:04+00:00

"now it's too late to turn things around"

I believe this is the main reason. At least for me, it will be for me if I don't manage to turn around some parts of my life.

I'm in my early 30s and I still have some hope. But if I'm unable to achieve what I want by 40, I'm pretty much done with life.

lonely_trickstr · 2021-06-12T18:51:52+00:00

As someone you use to have a forever alone phase I can tell you that society does not realize how important sexual and romantic interaction is

Now I’m not saying people are entitled to these things but they are very important for the average person, if your a single guy in your 40s you’d have to deal with loneliness,feelings of being done with life, and feelings of being worthless to how society teaches that men and old people=expendable

Of course not all of these suicides are due to loneliness but I believe they are cause for many of them

HeadHigh71 · 2021-06-12T13:02:30+00:00

Why not? Life sucks

jacksarmy · 2021-06-12T21:19:36+00:00

A lot of men are near friendless by this age to add to everything else

EmirikolWoker · 2021-06-12T12:59:31+00:00

Suicide, like any manifestation of poor mental health, is often unique to individuals. While some common themes may be applicable across demographics (for instance, ones 40s are prime divorce age, leading to a man potentially losing his significant other, his house, his kids, and half his income in one fell swoop, while also oftentimes lacking a strong friend-group for support - any one of these would put him in an at-risk category for suicide), it's worth noting that what might cause one man to commit suicide may not for another.

Atilla942 · 2021-06-12T15:07:25+00:00

Isolation and probably economic difficulties, this is also the age group where many men would have been divorced.

FerdinandvonAegir124 · 2021-06-13T20:25:30+00:00

That’s the age most of their children will be adults and leave. The time their marriage will become regular and not as exciting as it once was. Their body isn’t as capable as it was and they lose a lot of ability. They just lose a lot and become lonely

mostfuckedup3333 · 2021-06-15T19:20:23+00:00

Why should them live? They've already lived the good part of their life.

Pure-Bid1033 · 2025-07-08T19:27:39+00:00

I can’t speculate for others in that age bracket as I don’t have their issues (family and shit) therefore I can’t relate to their problems. But one thing I’ve noticed personally is that you still enjoy the same things you did in your 20’s, but now it’s just a shitty version of it.

Kind of like getting the generic or Temu version of things you enjoy for the rest of your declining life. Living at this point is less a choice and more something that just happens. It’s not all that enjoyable…I’ll stick around to see how it goes for now….but it’s going to get worse, much worse. Not much hope in that.

Title	Why do most men commit suicide in their 40's?
Author	MancunianMuffin
Upvotes	40
Comments	46
Date	June 12, 2021 12:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ny5ybt/why_do_most_men_commit_suicide_in_their_40s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-most-men-commit-suicide-in-their-40s.826397 https://theredarchive.com/post/826397

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