What are the steps to becoming a redpill woman?

sugarcrush · 2013-07-07T16:36:02+00:00

I think the basics are similar for women- realizing we have no inherent value (ouch, that can hurt!) and then adjusting our self and life to reach those goals. So for me, since I want marriage and children, this means working on my appearance to attract a high quality man (and then maintain that attraction) and having feminine skills and personality. I also did not participate in casual relationships.

It hurts reading about the instinctual side of us humans, like how many men will only be interested in me for my appearance and will continually be wanting the hotter, younger version. Reading about women's shortcomings and recognizing them in myself was even worse. But all I can do is identify them and work at them like anything else.

margerym · 2013-07-07T16:30:42+00:00

Us men have a convenient guide of how to do this over at /r/becomeaman. There is no /r/becomeawoman.

I've been thinking about this lately, how badly we need one. Maybe someday we can come together and create one. I have sort of created my own version of this (or am in the process of doing so) in an attempt to organize my self-improvement goals. I have given myself a "woman-up" challenge where I am studying up on and improving upon set out areas of my life like my physical, my sex life, my cooking and cleaning abilities, etc. I'm trying to keep my blog updated on it (http://margeryandtheman.wordpress.com/2013/07/05/woman-up/) and have been considering starting a separate "woman-up" blog just to house "become a woman" stuff. I'm not an expert so all I have to offer is how I have done what I have so far managed and what I continue to do.

What do you women do in order to actively become better women?

In no particular order:

First and foremost reject "feel-good" culture. In other words stop only giving validity to things that make you feel good and be willing to be uncomfortable. An example of this is ditch the "I'm perfect the way I am" mindset and be willing to acknowledge your flaws and actively seek to change them. One of my issues with present-day weight loss advice is that you shouldn't ever be hungry. This is classic "don't do things that don't make you feel good". Hunger isn't going to kill you (contrary to popular belief it's not the same as starvation). Be hungry. And be negative! Look in the mirror and say "I'm fat. Really fat and ugly." Look at your house and say "I'm a slob. Wow, can't I even wipe down a table?" Shame yourself. And then resolve to do better (this part is the most important).

Stop making excuses and telling yourself things are impossible. But also be realistic. These two have to go together. Example: having been pregnant is no excuse to be fat and look like a slob (no excuses) but don't think you are going to look like a 18 year old super model if you just workout hard enough (be realistic).

Own it. Own being a woman and think of it as a matter of pride (not an entitlement). Don't let society shame you for seeking out beauty, accepting your vulnerability, and wanting to please a man. Absolutely own that this makes you a better woman.

Care about your appearance. Like borderline on obsessive over it (or at least what society would call obsessive). Find your ideal style (this will take lots of time and experimentation), learn how to apply makeup, exercise, exercise, exercise, eat good food and not too much of it, get dressed nicely every single day no exceptions (no more grocery shopping in yoga pants or answering the door at noon in your PJs).

Improve your attitude. Stop complaining, stop speaking harshly, don't raise your voice unless absolutely necessary (you bet I scream at my kids when they are running into the street!). Do you know what an improved attitude does? it not only makes you look prettier (smile trumps frown every time) but it also improves your day/life/overall outlook, and people take you more seriously (think Boy Who Cried Wolf. If you are complaining all of the time your opinion loses merit).

Learn how to cook and clean. Even if you don't plan on being a Stay-At-Home-Mom/Wife/Girlfriend cooking and cleaning ability speaks volumes for a woman; namely that she gives a damn.

Be willing to see women (and thus yourself) as you are. Self-examine. It can be near impossible in the moment but it is so important that we accept that we can, and often do, fly off the handle. Be willing to say "I can't think logically about this so I will sit down, shut up, and just nod my head."

Accept that men aren't women. Stop trying to "talk it out" with your man. That's not how men do things! I know you may think that you can see the differences but honestly these days men are shamed for not being women. They are expected to verbally communicate and "reign in" their sex drive, etc. This is not a good thing at all. Start reading up about how men think and why they do what they do. And not things authored by women! For the love of God! Check out the Manosphere, read Athol Kay's book, etc. Focus on how men are not how you think they should be. Approach them as-is, don't ever try and change them.

Don't be such a prude but don't be a slut, either. Be enthusiastic about sex but don't give it away freely. Improve on your overall sexiness as well as sexual technique. Focus on how to please a man not just how to get yourself off.

That's all I have for now. I may think of more later.

cron_nin · 2013-07-07T17:48:43+00:00

Let's see. I have learned not to be overly offended about the stuff I read on the red pill. That is a major one. Under all of the anger, etc., there are some really useful things. I cannot be upset over the double standards that exist. I just have to work on myself.

A lot of it has to do with looks. Definitely working out and eating better is one of the things I started to do. I have realized that aging is inevitable. And I cannot stop it, I can help lessen the blow. I have been working on my skincare regimen to help with that.

Getting hobbies. Doing something with myself. Learning how to cook. So I have some external value. And with that, I have realized that some people have a greater SMV than others. As much as that hurts. Not everything is equal.

I have also learned how to interact with men a little bit better. I realize that sleeping around, hooking up, etc will get me no where in getting a relationship. I guess it is differentiate the men who only want sex from everyone else. And realize that there are a lot of smooth talkers out there.

I realize that the redpill is about accepting those hard truths. It's just made me smarter about what I need to do to reach my goals.

veggie_girl · 2013-07-08T08:00:40+00:00

It's funny how after 100+ years of feminism there is still no definitive guide to being a woman. We were just too busy being oppressed to write one I guess. /s

schopenhauerscat · 2013-09-19T13:33:50+00:00

Unfortunately, redpill, as well as ever other PUA site espousing strategies for becoming an "alpha" male, are not based on true evolutionary psychology and science ans instead preach that you can fundamentally change who you are just by trying, which is exactly like trying to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps--it can't be done and you're just fooling yourself if you think it can. Aside from not being based on any scientific fact, redpill argues that there are Alpha men who get all the chicks and betas, who get the scraps. The problem is one of self-delusion. If you'r e beta, you can change whatever you want to about yourself but your will always be a beta. Maybe a more successful beta, but still a beat nonetheless. You are that. You cannot change that, just as you can try to convince a turtle that he is a grizzly bear, but he can only and will only always be a turtle, even if he gets a "cool" spiky haircut or a fauxhawk. Alpha males are an invention. Any true alpha male would simply be bigger than other males, but we know that pure size doesn't guarantee vagina. It's surely a helpful strategy that teaches self=confidence to those who have none, but ultimately, you're always going to be what you were. I have ripped into a couple self-proclaimed "alpha" males and had their lips quivering and their eyes watering in minutes. You are lying to yourself if you think you can become something that you are not. You are you. Simple Zen buddhism. You're only putting legs on a snake. Or gilding the lily. Anybody who says they're an alpha male is a beta with really low self-esteem. I could go on, but you guys have already bought this crap hook, line and sinker. Enjoy being douchebags. Cheers!

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-07-07T16:58:51+00:00

listen to men explain what they like in a woman without arguing from the outset, consider it with intellectual honesty and implement as much of it as you can

that's it

Piranhapoodle · 2013-07-08T12:26:07+00:00

I follow an adjusted /r/becomeaman. Don't tell anyone.

Mitchell78 · 2013-07-08T13:54:01+00:00

I doubt women can ever truly become 'red pill', they always serve the feminine imperative.

empyblessing · 2013-07-07T20:23:16+00:00

All relationships need to be additive. Both parties need to gain something from the interaction. If a woman is looking to have a relationship with a man or considering marriage I would recommend self-reflection as a place to start. Find out who you are. What can I offer to contribute to someone and what do I expect to receive. Women are good about making lists of attributes they want in a man so you might not need to work on that. But what are you going to give back? If you expect him to stay with you then you must add something to his life.

empyblessing · 2013-07-07T21:07:14+00:00

Sounds like you're looking for fairness. Wrong reality, brother. Just do the best you can. Don't expect fair treatment because you'll receive none. Over a long enough time everything gets balanced out.

Title	What are the steps to becoming a redpill woman?
Author	AlwaysLateToThreads
Upvotes	12
Comments	85
Date	July 7, 2013 4:06 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ht1j4/what_are_the_steps_to_becoming_a_redpill_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-are-the-steps-to-becoming-a-redpill-woman.83858 https://theredarchive.com/post/83858

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