I'm a first time poster, longtime lurker. I'll try to keep this short and to the point.

My SO and I have been together for two years, living together for one. Before I met SO, I was the type who needed to be in control of everything in a relationship. I've realized part of the reason I felt that way was because I was always dating men I knew were weaker than me. Men who needed a mommy figure. Men I didn't trust to take care of their own shit. SO does not need this and I love him for it.

SO is an electrician apprentice and I am a lawyer. Right now, he makes quite a bit less than me, but once he finishes his program and becomes a licensed electrician, he will easily make more than me. That will be three more years. We split all bills 50/50, but our rent is so high it causes him to be left with very little at the end of each month. It makes it difficult for him to save like he wants to. He tells me he doesn't want to propose until he makes enough to buy the ring he thinks I "deserve" and pay for a nice wedding. I also love him for this.

My question is, how do I bring up to him that maybe for the time being we downsize into a smaller, more affordable apartment? I don't want to make him feel like I am accusing him of being unable to take care of his responsibilities, but at the same time, I don't want to keep living in a ginormous apartment we definitely don't need if it costs so much he is stressing about his lack of savings.

Any advice on how to broach the topic of finances without making him feel like I am trying to control things or make him feel inadequate?

Thanks in advance.