My Ex-Wife (F 40) Wants me (M 40) to add a stipulation that my daughter will have a 2.5 GPA

AEHIILRS · 2019-07-19T01:06:57+00:00

Has the mom been the one to insist on including this GPA business in the modification order, or is this your idea to keep an official explicit record of the agreement?

Because this sort of condition is possibly unenforceable due to arbitrariness (the daughter's grades do not neccesarily indicate whether someone is a good or bad parent) and being outside of the parents' control. So you could put it in the modification order, but it won't mean anything if she decides to go teenage-boy-crazy and deprioritize her coursework. CPS doesn't come kidnap your kids because they have bad grades.

If the mom is cool with just having 'an understanding' and leaving this part out of the court documents, you might wanna go that route. And then figure out if it would be best for your daughter to move back to NM if her GPA does fall.

SirKolbath · 2019-07-19T01:34:22+00:00

At age 14 isn't your daughter old enough to decide which parent she chooses to live with? Jesus Christ, in California she could have a goddamn abortion without telling you.

a-man-from-earth · 2019-07-19T02:24:07+00:00

Your child's GPA score is not under your control. This doesn't seem a fair stipulation.

v573v · 2019-07-19T02:41:11+00:00

What’s her current GPA and is it from a trustworthy source?

jones8811 · 2019-07-19T03:03:24+00:00

Just a couple of things can you clarify?

1) Is this grade stipulation aimed at you or is it aimed at your daughter? Is it because your ex does not believe that you will parent properly, or is it more to have a motivator for your daughter. (E.g. "You can have what you want (go live with your dad) as long as you keep your grades up").

If it is to motivate your daughter, then surely having both you and your ex sit down with your daughter and tell her she has to keep her grades up or else she goes back is all that is required.

Or is your ex quite bad at discipline/saying no and feels the need for some officially written document to give her authority?

2) Unrelated to the legal question at hand, but is there something gone wrong in your daughter's life that makes her want to go live with you? For most teenagers, their friend group is way more important to them than mum/dad. Has your daughter had a falling out with her friends? Has she been bullied at school? Are her grades already dropping to the point where her mum is getting on her case all the time?

auMatech · 2019-07-19T06:23:02+00:00

I feel like this is just going to add extra pressure on both you and your daughter, by putting the threat of your separation on both your shoulders. It could be that your daughter does as well as she can at work, but the constant travel for visitation (or however that would work) causes her so much stress that she is unable to meet the 2.5 criteria.

Another case is, would being forced to maintain a 2.5 GPA make your daughter happy?

My thoughts: don't add it to a legally binding document, reach a verbal understanding, and discuss other options if this 'recommendation for academic success' is not met.

bufedad · 2019-07-19T13:46:37+00:00

Has the daughter maintained a strict 3.5 GPA for her entire life with her mother?

If not, then I would point that out and say no.

2019-07-19T17:52:58+00:00

You can commit to a process, but you cannot possibly commit to an outcome, especially when that outcome is largely the responsibility of your daughter, and not you. She can ask that this be included in the agreement, but in no way should you sign off on an agreement or an amendment to an agreement that includes this kind of stipulation.

radicalbeef · 2019-07-19T00:32:24+00:00

I think you're in the wrong sub, maybe somewhere like r/relationshipadvice might give you more answers and better results

Title	My Ex-Wife (F 40) Wants me (M 40) to add a stipulation that my daughter will have a 2.5 GPA
Author	tommy079
Upvotes	13
Comments	20
Date	July 19, 2019 12:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/cf0gqm/my_exwife_f_40_wants_me_m_40_to_add_a_stipulation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-ex-wife-f-40-wants-me-m-40-to-add-a-stipulation.873210 https://theredarchive.com/post/873210

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