I was with my ex for 10 years. She was extremely angry abusive to me throughout and towards the end it was on a daily basis. Everything taboo that you wouldn't do in a relationship to hurt another person, you name it, it feels like she did it to me.
Physically abusive to me, like weekly. I'm talking punches and slaps to the head, destroying things around the house. TVs, cars, computers, anything that was memorable to me, it all got trashed and it was always apparently my fault. Fuck me, the amount of time I wasted each and every day just trying to come her the fuck down over the smallest thing.
To my credit, I never hit her, never even verbally abused her. I just saw her as someone that was sick and had a really bad upbringing. I kept trying to get her help instead, which she of course always refused. She was raped when she was young and even 25 years later she will not get help for it. Her dad was also an alcoholic and she hated that but was always wanting his approval. Her fucked up anger/love/hatred she has for men you can see driving and burning her up at the same time.
I called the police over a dozen times when she went too far and had hurt me. She always turned it around and made it seem like I was intimidating and she was defending herself. That's right ladies and gents, she would admit to hitting me, but the police would never do anything. She never called the police, not fucking once!
Every time, the police would always ask me to leave the home to "keep the peace". EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!! Do you know how hurtful and humiliating it was to pour your heart out about your wife hitting you to strangers and them not believe you?
I can't help but feel if the roles were reversed I would be well and truly locked up without a second thought.
My ex is a master manipulator and can cry at will like a mofo. She plays the victim so well in any tense situation that sometimes, even I second-guess myself.
4 of those times, when the cops were dumb enough to believe her, I got slapped with a violence order (AVO). 1 of those times the cops were stupid enough to arrest me and I spent the night in jail!!! Yes I called the cops that time for help - and I got arrested!
For 10 years I was eating her shit.
Why didn't I leave her fucked up ass? Obvious isn't it? Kids 7 and 10.
I have 2 beautiful amazing boys who adore me and they are everything to me. The ex for the most part is a great mother, and they are strong kids as long as they get to see me regularly for a normality reset.
Fast forward to the day she assaults me and I am bleeding. I call the cops and she still manages to get an AVO out on me!!!!
That was 3 years ago.
Since then, she decided that she wanted to take the kids and move to (insert anywhere but near me) and I've spent the last 3 years in a true hell of courts.
She stopped working so she could get legal aid. That's all her legal fees paid for - for free! Great system we have here. I'm 40 and have just spent my life savings on trying to stop her and trying to keep up with child support.
I make nearly $200K a year and yet I am negative 30K in debt right now. Imagine for a moment starting again at 40.
But I'm a strong guy who always sees the bright side of things. So rather than get depressed about it and sit on the couch everyday playing xbox in my underwear - I decided to always move forward and achieve something, no matter how small, every damn day. I devoted myself to hitting the gym hard, becoming a champ at my work, learning random shit and just being as happy as I can under the circumstances, and to try to give my all to my kids. I found the most wonderful girl through Tinder that I have enjoyed a marvellous 2 years with. Not even one fucking fight!!! It's hard to explain but she is a part of me. She makes me deliriously happy and together we have everything. She is the one, no doubt.
For the first time in a very very long time things had settled down it seems with everything and I was experiencing true happiness and hope that things would actually turn out alright.
We finally got our judgement first thing this morning in our relocation hearing and the judge has allowed her to move to a town 3 hours away. I will only see the kids during the school holidays. I will never be part of their everyday lives.
I couldn't believe it. Shocked. Numb doesn't even begin to describe it. I thought the judge would be the one intelligent person to see through the lies and actually see the matter for what it was.
Our lives are all turned upside down once again because of my ex's manipulations. Never could I even imagine the scenario where someone would take another person's kids away from him unless he was a druggie/pedo/violent offender.
I'm a hard-working, ordina--- Fuck it, I'm a kick ass great guy and dad. Everyone loves me. Just not my ex, lawyers, police, judges.
I'm not sure what to do guys. How do people live with not seeing their kids regularly? The thought of not being able to hug them or share things with them is eating me up.
I spoke to my eldest on the phone just now. He already knew. He was crying so much and I couldn't tell him anything that would make it better. I'm crying bad now.
Thankyou for listening to my rambles. All thoughts, questions, controversial or otherwise are encouraged. I need someone else's opinion, even if the truth hurts.
TL;DR: Ex beats the shit out of me for 10 years. No one believed me. Judge lets her move away with the kids to a town 3 hours away.
[–]Dogrose22 20 points21 points22 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Massive_Shitlocker 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Massive_Shitlocker 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[+]Criket1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I truly sorry for you. I get rhe same fucking treatment by my ex wife. A week before the separation in 2008, she was battering our younger boys. I tried to stop her. She punch my face. I stop next hit to my face. She begun bitting my arm like a mad dog. I been distracted by the pain then she kick the kid who still lying on the floor right in the face. She then turn towards me with a fucking smile... I slap her so hard she been knocked off.
I know your pain. I didn't see my kids since 2011.
[+]Massive_Shitlocker1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Don't hit women bro. I feel so bad for your kids to have to deal with an abusive mother in their lives. Do me a favour please - be fake nice to her and apologise. Eat your words, people like that will never understand. Beg to see your kids if you have to. It will give them something to look forward to. Peace.
[–]magx01 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Criket1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
That monster was hitting me and the kids almost daily. I cooked, I cleaned the dam house, I worked hard so she can be a house slug... After the only time I defended myself and the kids... the shit hit the fan
That day, I came home and there have message disperced in the home that her and the kids love me??? Ok... The dinner was already in the oven, didnt happened in two year, she usually only cooked lunch for her and the kids? Nice, I thought... It was strange, she was too nice there was a valentine card on the table, we are at mid January 2008? We sit all at the table and we begun to eat all together. I beginning choking myself, my thong get really big. I run to the bathroom and my face looked like a bob fish. The Epipen not there where it should be? I run to the garage, I have two of those there nobody else know about it. I can't breathe anymore. Inject both and I dial 911... She poisoned me with seafood (I'm highly allergic to it) for trying to scam insurance. She would end up with 350000 plus the house. End up at hospital for two day. I came back to an emptied house. She claim that because she's was scared of me.
I Received layers letter every two weeks and get in court over 30 time. She harcelate my employer until i lose my job. She successfully after three years managed to brainwash the kids to not see me anymore (parental alienation). I end up homeless, only having my dog with me...
NEVER BE NICE WITH YOUR AGGRESSOR.
[–]SCROTAL-SACK 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]-manatease 8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Massive_Shitlocker 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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