Going through a divorce, she has a restraining order, and I see the kids regularly but I found out from one of them that they may have moved without telling me.

ThatNinaGAL · 2018-06-24T17:17:06+00:00

Asking your boys where they have been, who they have seen, et cetera, is an excellent way to get that restraining order expanded to include them.

Ask YOUR LAWYER to inquire of HER LAWYER if there has been a change of address. Have your lawyer specify IN WRITING that the sole purpose of the inquiry is to avoid an unintentional violation of the court's order. Ask for a five-block radius to avoid.

AnotherDAM · 2018-06-24T16:48:27+00:00

What are my rights here?

Wrong question, wrong forum. This is NOT the place to come for legal advice, especially considering that your liberty (i.e. your literal freedom) is at stake. TALK TO A FUCKING LAWYER. LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.

I think I should have the right to know where my kids are living.

You don't. GET OVER IT. Quickly. Life is rough, life is unfair. You are now the grist for the mill. You will be tempted to do really, really stupid things that will only make matters worse. Police will handcuff you if you insist on enforcing the rights you think you should have (but don't).

Also concerning the restraining order, I’m a service plumber and I work all over town.

Talk to a lawyer. You could write the court and explain that your former family has moved and that you do not know where and that the court's guidance is necessary to ensure you do not violate the order.

She’s got my boys brainwashed...

And this is the bitter reality of America's Family Courts. You cannot change it for yourself; the very best you can do is remember the pain and stupidity and hope to change it for your sons.

There is NOTHING you can do at this juncture to change your ex's mind. There is NOTHING you can do directly for your sons other than being there on the days you are allowed to see them.

There is EVERYTHING you can do for yourself. Educate yourself. Get back into the activities you enjoyed before you knew here (camping, whatever). Get the fuck as far away from anything that will remind you of her. Let your sons know that when, or if, they want to talk about anything that you are there for them but DO NOT force the issue.

RedPillLawyerGuy · 2018-06-24T22:50:00+00:00

Disclaimer: I don't practice in your state. So don't take this as "legal advice" specific to your state, just as general advice.

Most states have codified rights and duties which require non-cohabiting parents to inform each other of changes of address immediately after relocating. In states where the bland "best interests of the child" are used to decide custody, one factor is usually "the willingness and ability to foster the relationship between the child and the other parent." Not informing of address comes into play here.

Also, the other comments are right. Talk to your lawyer. If you have a restraining order against you, she should have informed your lawyer, who will inform your lawyer, who will inform you. Think about the attorneys like the Cold War. When a NATO country wanted to talk to a Warsaw Pact country, they went through the US and the Soviet Union because that's how it was. Treat your divorce case the same way.

Halafax · 2018-06-24T17:06:09+00:00

Do you have a divorce lawyer? You should push the question through the lawyer so there is a record that you asked.

cld8 · 2018-06-25T02:03:11+00:00

Until the divorce is final, each parent can do whatever they want with the kids. She can take them wherever she wants, and isn't obligated to tell you anything. You can do the same.

The best advice is to talk to your lawyer about this.

headingtoshore · 2018-06-24T16:38:48+00:00

Disregard your own personal troubles and work to change the law.

enjoy what time you have with your children, when the law has been corrected you and all men in this boat will be saved.

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