Firstly I’ve slept with a lot of fit women in my life and I’ve loved six (that’s just the ones who loved me back). I’m fit, well presented got a good career and most women seem to like me when they first meet me. HOWEVER, I’m 46 now and I feel I care much more about meeting someone I can share a deeper, longer term relationship with. Can’t be bothered with countless shallow relationships. Been there, done that. In my last relationship, I loved this woman so much I actually tried to be proactive in building something lasting, which is something I’ve never done before. I think one thing is for sure I’m never going to stop loving women, nor them me. It’s just human nature. Also I don’t want to ‘hang out’ with other women when I’m in a relationship. I don’t believe in that idea, it seems completely pointless and counter-productive to me. So… I’m finding this website depressing as it seems to confirm what has been happening to me recently (not before though, when I always had good relationships). The last two women I really fell for, initially they saw me as a very strong confident guy, which I usually am but I couldn’t help start to fear losing them, for one reason or another (usually constant testing, even after in one case she told me I was stuck with her and she wanted to get married she carried on testing me the whole time). Depressingly they instantly seemed to smell this fear and took this as a sign of weakness to try and expose by acting bitchy rather than simply reassure me. Thus, the situation got worse until I was almost frozen with fear and eventually they broke up with me. This is quite a new experience for me and so my big question is how on earth do you stop yourself feeling this fear? It’s a nightmare of a paradox as it only happens when I really really want to be with someone. As mentioned, this never seemed to happen in my teens and 20s. I think it’s made a lot worse by the fact that as I get older, the women I tend to meet now have kids and a lot of other baggage/anxiety/attachment issues, so they are constantly trying to test me out – it’s absolutely exhausting. It’s alright when you first meet someone, but it feels like I’d have to have inhuman levels of strength to keep dealing with the constant barrage as time goes on. I haven’t really seen anything on the site that addresses these specific issues. I appreciate your help, thanks.