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As a Woman in Tech, I Realized: These Are Not My People | Great story of a woman in IT who realised she just wasn't as interested in the field as her male colleagues. James Damore was right.

EricAllonde

September 18, 2017
24 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-08-09/as-a-woman-in-tech-i-realized-these-are-not-my-people
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Title As a Woman in Tech, I Realized: These Are Not My People | Great story of a woman in IT who realised she just wasn't as interested in the field as her male colleagues. James Damore was right.
Author

EricAllonde

Upvotes 24
Comments 14
Date September 18, 2017 4:18 AM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/70snu5/as_a_woman_in_tech_i_realized_these_are_not_my/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/as-a-woman-in-tech-i-realized-these-are-not-my.914211
https://theredarchive.com/post/914211
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Looks like a great campaign to help tackle male suicide

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Comments

[–]EricAllonde[S] 17 points18 points19 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't this just say it all?

No, the reason I left is that I came into work one Monday morning and joined the guys at our work table, and one of them said “What did you do this weekend?”

I was in the throes of a brief, doomed romance. I had attended a concert that Saturday night. I answered the question with an account of both. The guys stared blankly. Then silence. Then one of them said: “I built a fiber-channel network in my basement,” and our co-workers fell all over themselves asking him to describe every step in loving detail.

At that moment I realized that fundamentally, these are not my people. I liked the work. But I was never going to like it enough to blow a weekend doing more of it for free. Which meant that I was never going to be as good at that job as the guys around me.

[+]Aivias1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Im not sure why unloading your personal baggage onto random men at a breakfast table first thing Monday morning is a womans idea of a good conversation.

Women at work around me do this, they air their most intimate issues out loud for everyone to hear, or directly at me on occasions, with seemingly no thought as to how little I care about it. Its very strange and makes for a very uncomfortable work environment in my opinion.

But the problem is the insistence that things be 'more welcoming' for women in the work place, but if that consists of putting myself into a situation I feel is very uncomfortable I dont see how this isnt just turning the situation around and expecting men like me to just shut up and lump it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Im not sure why unloading your personal baggage onto random men at a breakfast table first thing Monday morning is a womans idea of a good conversation.

Yeah, I mean the concert part alone might get a different response. But going on about your baggage is going to leave a lot of men in a stunned silence hoping for a hole to form in the Earth below them and swallow them up.

[–]fengpi 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

See, part of what "women in tech" need is for everybody to listen to their tales of woe.

But the story above tells the wrong kind of tale of woe, so it should be consigned to the flames.

[–]BlindGardener 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

You gotta love what you do, enough to do it in your freetime, or you'll never be good enough at it to get promotions and make lots of money. That's what I was taught growing up, and that's what I practice in real life.

I'm a salesman. I go to random stores choose a product, and sell it to people when I'm feeling relatively bored. Only the fact that I have a spouse now keeps me from just living at stores selling people stuff for fun.

I have some rules! I never dress like an employee while I'm doing this, and when asked if I work there, I always say 'no'. I also don't do it in places I work.

[–]forallmyfans2 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

fuck that american drean bullshit noise. works just something you do to facilitate living, do as little of it as possible and maximise your free time without teaching yourself to love making someone else money.

[–]BlindGardener 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

And what you have there is the typical attitude of the people I usually wind up managing. Basically, the people that make me my money, because I'm paid partly on how well you do.

Thank you for your contribution to my pockets!

[–]forallmyfans2 -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

you go to shops to pretend to be a wal mart salesman buddy dont act like you're winning in any stake.

[–]ThatNinaGAL 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So I went to business school, and eventually I landed myself in the kind of career that I was happy to do on weekends, and nights, and most of my other time.

Jesus Christ. Only in America is this a happy ending.

[–]DaeusPater 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Why is it not a happy ending, she seems satisfied with her position in her career? Because of overwork?

[–]ThatNinaGAL 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Hers and the guys who remained in her previous field.

I'm married to a naturally inclined engineer who started in the overwork culture at age 18. There is no doubt that he loves the field - and no doubt that the 7-day workweek would have shortened his life and made our children's growing-up a blur to him if he hadn't switched gears and/or I had to work and couldn't schedule our family life around his availability. This cultural zeal to give 100% to career and nothing to personal and familial pursuits literally kills people.

[–]DaeusPater 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok that understandable.

[–]zgembo1337 -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The question here is, if he was employed as a (eg.) car salesman during the day, would he still do all the geek/engineering stuff during his free time?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only Americans are passionate about what they do? Why do people always make everything about America? May as well be a feminists if you want to hurl out useless terms all day. You get more variety then.

There's a difference between working and doing something for fun in the same wheelhouse as your career.

For example, you're a writer. So let's say you're working on a novel. To blow off steam, you write short stories about something completely separate from what your job is. Because you enjoy the process of writing that you enjoy doing it in your off time as well. Writing (at least a novel) is probably a bad example given the process isn't your typical 9-5 situation. But you should get the idea regardless.

edit; a better example would be a graphic designer who paints landscapes on their time off.

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