Girlfriend threatening to call police and make false allegations of abuse

thrway_1000 · 2017-04-03T18:54:35+00:00

Check the law about recording in your state, and if legal start recording her abuse then go to the police to file a report and have your evidence available. Or just wait it out for a little bit then break up with her at that point when things aren't so hostile, in a public place, and have her stuff packed up and sent to her.

You can also try avoiding any type of intimacy, physical and emotional until she decides to leave. Basically, start treating her more like a room mate instead of a girlfriend (like asking for rent and so on).

2017-04-03T23:44:06+00:00

She's currently living with me in my apartment.

first mistake

I just want her to leave.

well within your rights.

She screamed, threw my stuff around, hit me, pulled my hair, ect all day Saturday.

this is when you should have gone galt, canceled the apartment lease and left. Either that or filed charges after getting a recording of her gloating about doing that stuff.

She had a tiny bruise on her forearm, maybe from hitting me or from the hiking we did earlier that weekend.

fuck this bitch.

I actually had a recording on my old phone of her saying she was willing to lie to the police about it. She ended up dropping that phone in the water trying to take pictures.

so you have no recordings of the abuse? that sucks..

I don't know how to end this without her losing her shit and doing something drastic.

cancel you payments on the apartment, and find a new one, when the lease is up, leave. Do not contact her about where you went, just take your stuff and leave.

. I don't want to contact the police for fear of them coming out and talking to her.

smart man. Calling the cops without irrefutable evidence that she is abusing you and not the other way around is insanity.

She is now trying to act like what happened was minimal and my fault.

of course she is.

Dude, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE ASAP. It is no longer safe to be with this girl for many reasons. She is not only abusive but is willing to get the system to abuse you too.

2017-04-03T20:33:43+00:00

If you're in the military, is there somewhere else you can stay?

If you have kids, though, don't just peace out, or she could use it against you.

ThePigmanAgain · 2017-04-04T01:37:13+00:00

Set up hidden cameras, wait till she blows her top again, make multiple copies of the footage, tell her to go fuck herself.

Rethgil · 2017-04-03T22:05:19+00:00

For a start what you did here is usable as evidence for you. Your post is a kind of journal documentation, which can b used to back up your story if you need it. From now on, document in as many ways and as often as possible. In writing, with secret audio or visual recording. With pictures of your broken items and so on. As for her, unless she specifically goes to have a doctor document bruises or marks, the police can't prosecute. Even if she had a photo. Tell your friends, your boss or teachers, tell your doctor and so on. When you've seven days of documentation you are set. She's screwed. So long of course as she said or did something in that time. So trap her. She clearly deserves no sympathy.

MisterDamage · 2017-04-03T22:53:51+00:00

If you're renting, move out, terminate your lease and find somewhere else to live. Avoid being in her presence at all, ever again. If you absolutely must meet with her, do so in a public place within clear view of security cameras and record the meeting if legal where you are. Get a lawyer now.

MelkorHimself · 2017-04-03T23:33:34+00:00

Your location is important because it will be useful for finding your local wiretapping law and the law governing unwelcomed tenants. Thirty-nine states have one-party-consent wiretapping laws which let you audio record without notifying the other parties. Most states require you give someone 30 days' written notice for them to vacate before you file a formal eviction.

You most definitely need to talk to JAG as soon as you can.

throaway0293 · 2017-04-04T00:13:41+00:00

I'm praying you don't have any kids with her, cause that could be very hurtful to your situation. Could you elaborate on this a bit?

She's currently living with me in my apartment

buzzer sound Two mistakes here. One, you probably shouldn't move in with someone unless you're financially stable (and married, but I'm religious so I'll leave that part out). When you say you're in an apartment, that kind of tells me your finnancial position may not be where it needs to be yet. Two, you said YOUR apartment, not OUR apartment. If she's living with you, she should be contributing.

What you gotta do is treat her like a roommate. She's a grown woman; she can live on her own. Treat her like she doesn't need your assistance.

I would second what a lot of people are saying about recording the abuse if it happens BUT CHECK IF IT'S LEGAL IN YOUR STATE!

Godspeed, brother

Kyle_Fischer · 2017-04-04T15:47:13+00:00

Bro, I represent Soldiers for a living. I had a case like this with a married Ranger Officer. It went to a Court-martial. The only thing that saved him was the recordings he made of her abusing him.

When you make recordings, put them on your e-mail, or on Google Drive or someplace other than just your phone.

So, you need to get more evidence. Sounds like you are stationed in California or the DC area if your rent is $2k per month. If you live in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, or Washington state, then you must have her consent to record.

She sounds like she has a BPD. You need to establish a history of her abusing you on the recording. Also, you need to find out about where she has been treated for mental health. Find out about any ex-boyfriends/husbands she might have had. Find out where they are without her knowing. When you break up with her, you need to contact them to see what she has done with them. If she is a BPD, then she has probably already told you stories about how they abused her.

Do NOT let anyone know you have these recordings. I was able to get my client's wife to deny the things that clearly occurred and were said on the recordings while she was under oath. Had she known I had the recordings, then she might have come up with an excuse as to why she said the things she said instead of lying under oath and denying that she said/did them.

She has a fear of abandonment. But, she also has a zest for chaos, which really is not good for a military career, particularly if you are an officer. She is gaslighting you. Everything that you said in this brief synopsis is the exact same thing my client went through. You need to tread carefully. Do not get her pregnant.

She's probably cheating on you, as well. Most BPD's are whores. If you can catch her doing that, then most likely she won't flip when you leave her. Just make sure you have the evidence as backup.

Look me up google. I'm in Columbus, GA, right outside Ft. Benning. Call me if you need me.

RockFourFour · 2017-04-03T23:14:55+00:00

Have a sit down with someone you trust in your chain of command. Maybe one of your direct superiors or the chaplain. Let them know what's going on to at least get ahead of this if you do get arrested.

Beyond that, document, document, document. Have a hidden camera recording in your house if need be. When you feel you have enough evidence, tell her to leave and call the police. There's a good chance you'll still be arrested, but you'll have tape rolling on the entire thing.

PotGoblin · 2017-04-04T00:47:24+00:00

Record again!

trygold · 2017-04-04T01:57:45+00:00

Do you have good friends or family that can come and stay with you. If so get them to come a stay with you as a witness while you evict her. Remove anything of value to a secure place. Never let yourself or your friends be alone with her. Record every conversation if it is legal.

Or you can go stay with friends while you evict her once again temporarily removing your stuff from the apartment.

Stay in a cheap hotel while you evict her . Put your stuff in storage.

Contact a lawyer and ask for legal advise on how to protect yourself.

Look into base housing as an option.

Move out. Do not tell her just do it. Get another place arrange for friends or movers preferably at a time she is not there and move your stuff.

Go to the Police and report the abuse. Do not call them go down to the station and talk to them directly.

Your biggest issue is if she has been living there and refuses to leave you will need to go through the eviction process.

You are never stuck it is just hard. Stay strong brother people like her count on your fear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yid-CW-O9Qw

afireinthesky · 2017-04-04T02:51:45+00:00

Dude if you're an officer 1. You should know how to handle this (weekend safety briefs should ring a bell) 2. If you go to jail, you go to jail. You know you wouldn't be in trouble. 3. If you can, avoid using a JAG lawyer. Pay out of pocket. I know you make bank.

MagicTampon · 2017-04-05T04:16:01+00:00

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2017-04-03T20:27:10+00:00

Turn into a dead beat boyfriend, become the most disgusting, clingy, needy mf there can ever be, this could damage your reputation. Don't shower, call her obsessively to know where she is and what she is doing, spend all her spare time with her, literally make her feel repulsion for you, until she dumps you.

Also legal or not, you should record her, and have backups on physical and in the cloud.

FunkOff · 2017-04-03T20:47:09+00:00

Breakup with her immediately. Things you should know: 1. Recording conversations may be a FELONY in your state or country. Looks this up first. 2. There are also laws about what circumstances under which you can evict a live-in girlfriend. 3. I recommend laying low and giving into her demands 100% for a few days to let her calm down. Say yes to everything she wants (aside from dumb stuff like "give me money") and let her think you're going to be her patsy. Take her out to dinner, take selfies, this will serve and proof that you two are on good terms. Then, when she is gone, pack necessary items, and go stay in a hotel or with a friend for as long as you need and don't tell her where you are. If you have a "clean break" like this, this prevents her accusations from having any weight. You can also change your phone number and communicate with her on a burner phone or some similarly untraceable way, while you workout how to deal with the housing situation. (It's worth mentioning, if she goes full-blown psycho, she may destroy all the possessions in your home and possibly burn down the apartment, but at least with this plan, she cannot pin malfeasance on you... and you're and officer, odds are pretty good you can replace whatever you don't take with you.)

Title	Girlfriend threatening to call police and make false allegations of abuse
Author	throaway0293
Upvotes	46
Comments	23
Date	April 3, 2017 6:45 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/638ris/girlfriend_threatening_to_call_police_and_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/girlfriend-threatening-to-call-police-and-make.927000 https://theredarchive.com/post/927000

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