While my (A Level) college doesn't do a lot right, these posters can be found around the facilities. What do you guys think? (Sorry for the potato picture)

actingverystrangely · 2015-11-08T21:48:41+00:00

The phrase "real men" (or indeed "good men") alienates me straight away.

It it based upon the premise that there is a threshold that demarcates 'real men' from, well, presumably un-men. Do you know what? I have lived my entire life being told:

what to think/ what not to think
what to say/ what not to say
what to do/ what not to do

When people, even well intentioned people , try to tell me that I need to strive for affirmation, and I will get it from them if I do "x" it reminds me that my status as a man is not in the hands of others.

I am responsible for my status as a man, it is not conditional upon me:

opening doors / not opening doors
supporting 'he for she' (or indeed being an MRA)
slaying dragons
eating quiche / not eating quiche

Remember the image of a donkey walking towards a carrot which is tied to a pole from its head? Men like you and me are starved of affirmation all our lives and told we are:

broken
toxic
brittle
bad
rapists
child molesters
thugs

Then, we are told (adopts fairy Godmother whisper):

but you can be accepted! There is a way that you can receive validation! Just buy this (Insert name of new soap powder here) and society will approve of you, instead of condemning you! And all your dreams will come true. You will become... (wait for it)... A REAL MAN!

Eey ore! EEY ORE!

anunusualname · 2015-11-08T22:45:23+00:00

It is very Maternalistic. They could have gotten the same message across without writing it as an insult. You should suggest to them (in a positive way) some new wording that won't turn off half the men that read it.

Since this is college I assume most or all the males reading this are 18+ and considered men? Even if they brush off your suggestion, make it anyway because the poster is demeaning.

ocasionallymisspeld · 2015-11-08T22:48:30+00:00

The first thing they offer to help me with is my anger.

SickleSandwich · 2015-11-08T23:01:35+00:00

Something to note that I didn't make clear enough: this is not a University. This is a UK college, the facility most students attend after secondary school. Students are typically aged from 16-18.

I would like to point out another ridiculous thing they did. Next to one of these posters in the Physics lab, there is a poster offering a great opportunity at Oxford University to learn some extra stuff and put it on your CV. They advertise two days, one for everybody... and one for females only, where they do extra stuff... despite the fact that in the UK this year, the gender gap in Students widened even more, where female University students outnumber males 3:2, AFAIK.

Just a few points I wanted to make known. This college is much worse in many other ways, too.

GumbyDrops · 2015-11-09T00:38:01+00:00

The 'catchy' slogan imbues the message with completely unnecessary emotion and a theme of judgment (plus an implication that 'toxic masculinity' is the 'real' problem) reminding young men of the exact reason they don't seek help. I'm sure posters with pure, straightforward information would be much better: 'Attention male students: counselling is available. If you are experiencing any of the following issues, we encourage you to make an appointment. We can help.'

Dnile1000BC · 2015-11-08T22:37:41+00:00

Some of the phrasing of the words reminds of another "help site" for men that basically makes them out to be the evil incarnation that needs counselling to expunge them of their evil.

e.g. "Domestic Violence Helpline - Call this number to receive counselling on how NOT to abuse your wife"

iainmf · 2015-11-09T02:16:16+00:00

Shaming young men into getting 'help'.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.

anunusualname · 2015-11-08T22:47:02+00:00

Do any of your school's publications refer to female students as girls?

L0cked4fun · 2015-11-09T15:25:04+00:00

I appreciate their thought, but only you can decide if you consider yourself a real man.

SRSLovesGawker · 2015-11-09T03:07:37+00:00

The moment I see the phrase "Real men do x", my brain immediately switches into rebellion mode and requires a force of will to overcome. My guess is that there's lots of men out there who have a similar reaction.

End result is despite good intentions, a counterproductive product that'll likely reinforce alienation for more than welcome those most in need.

While my (A Level) college doesn't do a lot right, these posters can be found around the facilities. What do you guys think? (Sorry for the potato picture)

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