One of my friends was just raped, I need some advice

2015-10-31T11:42:27+00:00

POLICE

NOW

theegrimrobe · 2015-10-31T11:05:03+00:00

Police, phone the police .. now while the drugs are still in his system

alrun · 2015-10-31T12:54:18+00:00

And get him to a hospital so they get his blood for screening.

Some drugs have a short retention time and he might need this data.

At least get the evidence secured. Meaning collect the condoms, get a blood sample and a hospital examination documenting if there are any visible signs, blood traces,...

He might not want to involve the police - he should be sure and have thought about this if he wants to involve the police. As the others have said get him involved with a rape counsellor. He may need somebody to talk to that has experience with it and can give him information about what he must do and what options he has.

PM_ME_YOUR_GAY_DICKS · 2015-10-31T12:45:11+00:00

As others have said, get him into a drug test as quickly as possible. Also, I hope to God he kept the condoms; those would be invaluable evidence.

TheDude41 · 2015-10-31T12:53:11+00:00

Well, if he was drugged by someone else then that's definitely rape. I believe a lot (most?) states also consider it rape if he was "plied" with alcohol. Obviously, if he was drugged with something spiked, that's gonna be rape, probably poisoning too.

The used condoms would be evidence, obviously. If he can get his blood drawn and tested, it's possible that there will be something still there. Probably best to have some blood frozen down under chain of custody too for evidence. Maybe they can swab his penis too, though if condoms were used, that may not be as useful as the condoms themselves. Police may be able to search the apartment or the suspect's home to see if there is evidence of adulterant. A cup used to serve a spiked drink could potentially be tested. Who knows, maybe an area of spilled drink or drink spilled on clothing or whatever too.

On the other hand, I think though that according to law in many states, if he was self-intoxicated (rather than spiked), then in most states he's going to have a tough time proving a rape occurred. There is a difference between blacking out (loss of memory) versus passing out (loss of consciousness), and if he doesn't remember and was self intoxicated, then one supposes he does not know if he consented to the sex acts that occurred.

Good luck!

EvilPundit · 2015-10-31T10:53:29+00:00

The r/rapecounseling sub might be able to help.

You'll get sympathy here, but they specialize in this topic.

zap283 · 2015-10-31T12:38:46+00:00

It's really very important that he get somewhere they can test for drugs as soon as possible. Make that the priority, then he can easily decide what he wants to do about the possibility of charges and so on after having time to process.

SpikeNLB · 2015-10-31T12:04:04+00:00

While I'm having trouble with the jump/memory lapse between 'went on a date with a girl' to 'woke up the next morning' to 'he was def raped', I can only imagine that lack of urgency he would get reporting this the police. And just curious, what drug allows you the stamina to perform sex yet in a complete black out? And please don't respond with the 'date rape drug'. Former gay circuit guy here, done my share of GHB, once you cross the line of black out, you are passing out.

stopyourBull · 2015-10-31T17:22:48+00:00

talk to a lawyer to protect him from becoming the primary suspect in a rape case. you must assume she is going to say that he raped her. he will need to gather any evidence and witnesses. since this is the uni he will most likely be kicked out.

Title	One of my friends was just raped, I need some advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	47
Comments	28
Date	October 31, 2015 10:46 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3qybfu/one_of_my_friends_was_just_raped_i_need_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/one-of-my-friends-was-just-raped-i-need-some.968241 https://theredarchive.com/post/968241

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