So is there a politically correct way to say "friendzone" these days?

Azothlike · 2015-08-28T03:33:27+00:00

I honestly don't think it needs to be changed.

ARedthorn · 2015-08-28T05:50:36+00:00

I recommend going old-school.

Unrequited love.

Because that's what it fucking is.

It's not about sex. Frankly, every time I hear about how I feel entitled to sex, I want to slap someone. Women, hear me: If it were just about orgasms, I. Don't. Need. You.

The poets (men and women both) have been writing about unrequited love for as long as there has been written language, and probably longer. Only in the last decade or so have we decided that it must actually be about sex, or bad male attitudes...

So, either there was a sudden shift in our perception of men's emotions... or there was a sudden shift in every man's emotions, all at once, and all identical. Hmm...

mwobuddy · 2015-08-28T03:39:51+00:00

The "Friend Zone" is when you, as a fella, meet a girl you were hoping to try for a dating relationship or at least a sexual relationship with. Despite your most earnest efforts, she is looking for someone who is not like you, but she still likes the kind of person you are and wants to be your friend instead. The Friend Zone is usually pejorative because nobody wants to be there.

Women have sort of appropriated the term, but not really.

But it isn't sexist. Not everything that is gender-specific is sexist. I just wouldn't tell the friend who Friend Zone'd you that you feel Friend Zone'd. That's a quick way to get into the No Friend Zone.

If you want to describe how you feel about someone you care about too much not to at least call a friend, you are "Carrying a Torch".

2015-08-28T04:22:02+00:00

Before the FriendZone it was "leading someone on"...

It's really just emotional manipulation and abuse.

Lethn · 2015-08-28T07:36:54+00:00

Meh, I don't really give a fuck about the whole friendzone thing but as ARedthorn says, it's just another word for unrequited love. The problem is there are people out there who have twisted the meaning to mock people who get on the recieving end of it.

In general terms, friendzone isn't about 'bitter' men who feel cheated by women who call them friend. It's actually about women who put men on a hook or put them in their pocket for later if their original love interests don't work out.

To simplify this scenario, a guy approaches a girl ( having not known her previously or a short while before ) and finally gets up the courage to ask her out. The girl then says that she likes him has a friend instead of being honest with him about how she feels and now the guy is being essentially tricked by her often deliberately about whether or not they might have a chance.

When it comes to the friendzone there is no actual friendship involved, it's a form of satire to the situation. As there seems to be a growing number of women coming to this subreddit I've got some advice for you. If you're going to be turning a guy down, just be as honest with them as possible, while it will always hurt them short term in the long term they'll be far more respectful of you than if you lead them along and manipulated them with friendship.

I know it may not make sense, but trust me :P I still get along with girls I've tried asking out who were honest with me because it they're trustworthy people you can hang out with in the first place, I may not hang out as much, but we're still genuinely okay with each other.

Targren · 2015-08-28T04:23:39+00:00

Yes, you say "friendzone" and use complaining about it as a "dipshit canary".

Capitalsman · 2015-08-28T07:41:29+00:00

Only politically correct way to use freind zone is if you're a female from what I've seen. Unrequited love is probably the best option because they probably won't know what unrequited means and just go along cause it's not a buz word.

icecow · 2015-08-28T07:42:28+00:00

I had let this be known recently and it got me downvoted to oblivion.

Oh Jeez, I've been on reddit for about 9 years. After social media took strong hold upvoting/downvoting has not been the same. Long ago if someone said "I skip pepperoni on pizza" the reply would probably be ignored. Now if someone writes, "I skip pepperoni on pizza" they are likely to be downvoted to hell, presumably because they think upvoting/downvoting is based on if they like pepperoni.

I will sound arrogant saying half the morons that used to watch TV are now farting away their thoughts on the internet. The other half that are watched TV are still watching TV: Reality shows. People who watch mostly TV at this point are especially bottom barrel thinkers as far as I can tell.

As far as friend zone is concerned. How can it not be legit? It's observable. One cavaet. Some start talking and thinking in terms of 'friend zone' soo much they are deluding themselves and faling to take in many other aspects of relationships.

LoLThatsjustretarded · 2015-08-28T17:12:40+00:00

No. But honestly, outside of organized butthurt brigades on the internet, most people see no problem with the phrase.

Illyrian7 · 2015-08-28T07:44:14+00:00

I think what you're looking for is the "girlfriend/boyfriend zone". The idea is that if it's not established that one party has feelings both sides should assume friendship. When those feelings are unrequited the person with feelings put the other in the "girlfriend/boyfriend" zone. The person feelings expected more, it wasn't the person without expecting less.

Midden__Earth14 · 2015-08-28T05:07:20+00:00

Oh the friendzone...I (as a woman) do not find the term particularly offensive. I have used it for several situations that I have found myself in. But, I didn't cry about it. I accepted that that was what the relationship was and moved on.

However, it is frustrating to hear the term used a way for people (I have heard it primarily from men, but I'm sure women have used it too) to cry and complain about how nice they are to a person and did not receive any romantic or sexual gestures in return for their kindness.

As a woman, this is why I've begun to dislike the term. I was deliberately led on and then "friend-zoned" by someone who would later become one of my closest friends. However, I never held this against him. I always assumed it was just we had a spark that never ignited. I've also been on the receiving end of verbal hostility and jealousy from male friends who had felt that they had been "friend-zoned."

When you complain about being "friend zoned" it implies that because of your kindness, you were entitled to something other than reciprocated kindness. (Not you the OP, you being the hypothetical whiner).

I think some of the responses on here are examples of this entitlement. Being friends with women does not mean that the women are "leading you on" (it could, but it's not exclusively this) nor do all women expect a man to be around to help out with carrying "heavy things." I have found that it is entirely possible to be friends with the opposite sex without expecting either sex or favors that follow traditional gender roles.

2015-08-29T19:45:07+00:00

If you cared less about what people think of the words you use, you'd be much, much less likely to be friendzoned in the first place.

Title	So is there a politically correct way to say "friendzone" these days?
Author	FaithInMe
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	August 28, 2015 3:29 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3iolxm/so_is_there_a_politically_correct_way_to_say/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-is-there-a-politically-correct-way-to-say.972433 https://theredarchive.com/post/972433

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