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The Vampire’s Bite: Victims of Narcissists Speak Out. How do narcissists' partners get their life sucked out of them?

Imnotmrabut

May 5, 2015
24 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/the-vampire-s-bite-victims-narcissists-speak-out
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Title The Vampire’s Bite: Victims of Narcissists Speak Out. How do narcissists' partners get their life sucked out of them?
Author

Imnotmrabut

Upvotes 24
Comments 11
Date May 5, 2015 3:10 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/34y58s/the_vampires_bite_victims_of_narcissists_speak/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-vampires-bite-victims-of-narcissists-speak-out.981121
https://theredarchive.com/post/981121
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Comments

[+][deleted] 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]lowsodiummonkey 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. It also mainly falls under personality disorders too. My ex was within most of the Cluster B, which includes levels of narcissism. More women than men fall into that category. More men tend to fall into Cluster C, which includes obsessive compulsiveness because men are taught to be perfectionists and to be top in what they do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Well the author is coming from a position of anecdotal evidence based on her client base. Most people who have the time and money for therapy tend to be female.

[–]somnambulator 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a narcissistic mother. My father is a hollowed out shell compared to when he was much younger.

I regularly read posts over in /r/raisedbynarcissists and the majority of them seem to be about narcissistic women; mothers, wives, sisters etc.

This is, of course, all anecdotal, but the guys who are partners of narcissists tend to leave when it gets really bad. Unlike my dad.

But even my dad will not even talk about it with me, let alone a psychologist. And, god forbid, he would never 'open up' about it on a forum.

So I think all stats are skewed because because many more women like to talk it out or get advice from professionals or other people in similar situations.

Men historically either get out or keep quiet about DV or emotional abuse.

[–]PM_ME_UR_PLANTS 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

This also doesn't get into why behaviors labelled narcissistic would exist. For example, a man is likely to be more concerned with watching out for himself if he has less of a social safety net available. So a study should compare men and women in the same support setting to sort out gender differences in personality from rational responses to environmental conditions.

The differences in race could also come from environmental factors in support networks. Do you have which study you found on hand to see what controls were present?

[+][deleted] 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]PM_ME_UR_PLANTS 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The researchers raised the issue of cultural differences for race, but not sex. I find that interesting in itself.

[+][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]iNQpsMMlzAR9 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Comorbidity, perhaps? Men with NPD are likely to have a mental disorder along with it, whereas women aren't?

[–]caius_iulius_caesar 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Add the numbers for HPD and BPD (which have narcissistic features and are predominantly female) and women would probably come out ahead.

[–]outhouse_steakhouse -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I subscribe to /r/raisedbynarcissists and I get the impression in most cases it is the mother who is the narcissist.

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