Throwaway as I don't want this associated with my normal account.

I'm a middle-aged guy, divorced, have a couple kids, work as a software engineer, blah blah blah. Last night I went to the bar by myself; it's close to where I live and all the bartenders know me by name. My mistake was going to the bathroom and not bringing my drink with me. I remember talking with the guy next to me and then bam, nothing. I woke up this morning in my bed with a dozen text messages from my girlfriend asking if I was alright and if I made it home. Apparently I decided to walk home and called her while I was walking. She said I was slurring my speech, dropped the phone a couple times, and fell down at least once. At some point I just put the phone in my pocket and she could hear me walking. I remember none of this.

Always remember to keep your drink in front of you when at the bar.