I am sensitive and i hate it

TotalPigeon · 2018-06-02T16:05:09+00:00

Your behaviour is a hindbrain reflex to make you look submissive and not a threat. This stuff is from millenia of evolutionary habits and in less pleasant times might have saved your life. You won't be able to stop it through sheer force of willpower, the hind brain is tied in to your reflex reactions and has been conditioned to respond this way.

If you want to fix it you need to convince your hindbrain that it doesn't need to respond this way. There are a couple of things to do. First is to improve your physical strength/ability to the point where whatever is scaring you is less intimidating. Second is to act opposite to the hindbrain, ie even though you feel timid and scared, you stand up for yourself and more importantly whatever happens as a result is not as bad as you were expecting. If you get your ass beat bad it may not help, but if you stand up for yourself and it goes fine your hindbrain decide you weren't at risk and will start to recalibrate itself. This doesn't just have to be with your old man, any time you have a confrontation slightly outside of your comfort zone try to stick with it for longer than before. This doesn't mean get angry back! If you do that you are just conditioning your hindbrain to act angrily for you instead, which comes with just as many issues (like alienating your kids when they spill milk). I mean have respect for your own position and don't surrender to the other persons interpretation of an event, ie hold frame.

With him I would say pick your battles, start with smaller things and see how he responds to that first. If it escalates rapidly you may need to forget about it until you are big enough that he no longer intimidates you (his own brain will also see you differently so this will level the playing field) and/or you are less dependent on him and can move out if shit goes down.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-06-02T08:49:43+00:00

As someone that was in a similar situation in childhood with regular beatings, I cry in this situation too. It was only problematic in school because teachers can yell at you. Now, I'm never in a situation that this occurs. If people yell at me now I get angry instead.

It really does a number on you, but it mostly stems from the idea that you think you're inferior to other people. That's the problem you need to tackle. Increase your SMV and try to be mindful of times when other people respect, thank, and appreciate you. Once you realise that you're just as good as anyone else it will help you realise when someone is yelling at you that it's not because you're inferior, it's because they're bitter and cruel or accustomed to getting their way.

Plus, conquering this feeling of inferiority is important for social interactions and presenting good SMV in a group.

iateatacotwice · 2018-06-02T08:14:57+00:00

When I was 12-15 I got teary eyed whenever someone did as much as insulted me. You will grow out of it. My advice is train martial arts, it really desensitizes you from stress

DoYouConcur29 · 2018-06-02T13:40:10+00:00

I used to be in your shoes. When my dad gave me instructions he would say it went in one ear and out the other (implying I was bad at following along). I took that and turned it into something good. When he got upset with me I would let it go in through one ear and out the other, and not let it get to me.

Stokestix · 2018-06-02T14:57:30+00:00

Short term fix/workaround:

When you're about to cry, think of words that rhyme or count backwards from 100 in sevens. Engaging the logic part of your brain shifts bloodflow away from your emotional centers and helps you maintain your composure.

Long term, you gotta do what the top comment says

_A_L_3_X_ · 2018-06-02T08:18:35+00:00

son, the basics of trp is, be a super confident dick, who gives zero fucks about girls.

trexgomez · 2018-06-02T16:08:06+00:00

Lifting will help you lesser the possibility of someone feeling like a threat to you.

Ricklogical · 2018-06-02T16:28:22+00:00

Well time and some therapy is probably the cure man.

WhoWasBlowjob · 2018-06-02T19:43:47+00:00

Man I had / have the exact same upbringing with that bullshit, the fear 11 year old me felt after spilling a glass lol

Just wanted to say for me it's gotten better overtime just by going outside my comfort zone and standing up for myself.

RedPilledRoaster · 2018-06-03T05:39:44+00:00

Quit being a pussy

Title	I am sensitive and i hate it
Author	iateatacotwice
Upvotes	20
Comments	19
Date	June 2, 2018 7:17 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8nyznc/i_am_sensitive_and_i_hate_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-am-sensitive-and-i-hate-it.98943 https://theredarchive.com/post/98943

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