Could the root of men's problems with women that men have romanticized love too much?

DevilishRogue · 2015-01-05T20:44:28+00:00

Sorry I have not so good english, but I will try to get idea across. It is very often said that woman is interested in love, but it is more feeling of love and not actual love. For example woman want emotional rush of love and it is not as important if man is caring or supporting so long as he give her feeling of love. Men often have different idea of love with loyalty, support and fidelity being very important. It is thing that can be measured and build over time. Problem is woman not often capable of providing this and will divorce very often.

If the man know he will not get what he think, he will not get married. When woman says she loves you she means this: I am feeling emotional rush from you. It is more report card(you get star/high grade in book right now), than actual declaration of love.

I think this is actual cause of much problem.

DavidByron2 · 2015-01-05T20:59:55+00:00

Well, yes, but it's what women demand isn't it? That's why men do it.

RunawayGrain · 2015-01-05T21:16:07+00:00

The problem is that lust is often misrepresented as love:

For a Womans perspective, consider the Disney Princess template for love. Prince Charming generally doesn't have much by way of personality. His redeeming qualities are power and wealth. The princess doesn't do anything to earn her position other than looking pretty. The prince stumbles across her, without her having done much of anything.

For men, think of any number of movies where the male protagonist goes off on a quest to rescue the damsel in distress. The hero probably has spoken very little with her, but has seen her in image or heard word of mouth. The Hero sets off on a perilous quest to save her, and has fallen in 'love.' by the end.

Both of these are cases of lust. The woman lusts for Prince Charming's power and wealth, the male hero lusts for the hot princess' sex. The difference is that men actually convince themselves that what they feel is love.

Funcuz · 2015-01-05T22:45:42+00:00

I don't know that love has been romanticized any more for men than it has been for women. We both get the exact same message from the media after all.

Men and women both are always looking for the next best thing. They tend to have different ideas of what constitutes "best" but the behavior has been noted in both.

Women initiate divorce at twice the rate as do men. I think this has to do with the fact that a woman's idea of better has to do with material comforts and luxuries. For men it seems to be more about what kind of offspring it looks like she'll provide. As such, he wants the hot young thing and she wants him to earn more money. Whereas he could theoretically get a girlfriend without it interfering with his relationship, she's dependent upon him to be as ambitious as possible.

The problem today is that young girls are inculcated with the message "you're worth it !" whereas young boys aren't. So while the boys learn to settle for average, the girls have unrealistic expectations. This can be traced back to feminist initiatives (back in the 80's, feminists "researchers" decided that girls had a lack of self-confidence beginning in high-school so they pushed for more confidence-inducing measures for girls) The boys, on the other hand tend to have been taught from the beginning that they're only as good as the woman they're with says they are.

Obviously not all women are like this. I would go as far as to say that probably most women aren't actually like the description provided above but then neither are men. I don't think that romanticizing love is an issue because nothing but the expression of our natural inclinations has changed. Our nature is the same, it's just a question of how it's expressed.

ConfirmedCynic · 2015-01-05T22:00:22+00:00

I've asked whether women ever really loyally love their husbands, or only stayed with him so long as enough items on the mental checklist are ticked and nothing better has come along.

I believe some women can love the way men hope for, based on this story. Her husband was in a coma for 19 years.

Grzebska, 63, said that for years she fed her husband Jan carefully with a spoon and moved his body to prevent bed sores.

Despite doctors' advice that he would not live, his wife never gave up hope and took care of him at home.

"I would fly into a rage every time someone would say that people like him should be euthanized, so they don't suffer," she told local daily Gazeta Dzialdowska. "I believed Janek would recover," she said, using an affectionate version of his name.

"This is my great reward for all the care, faith and love," she told the AP, weeping.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-06-03-coma_N.htm

If that isn't love and dedication, I don't know what is.

Jerkie_Cokehead · 2015-01-05T20:41:40+00:00

Damn straight!

MRSPArchiver · 2015-01-05T20:37:35+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

Blutarg · 2015-01-05T22:34:41+00:00

Your english is good :)

Title	Could the root of men's problems with women that men have romanticized love too much?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	17
Date	January 5, 2015 8:37 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2rfpgw/could_the_root_of_mens_problems_with_women_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/could-the-root-of-mens-problems-with-women-that.991235 https://theredarchive.com/post/991235

Comments