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does anyone else relate

puririnpa
January 20, 2023
6 upvotes
/r/AllPillDebate

i honestly don't want a boyfriend or sex, i rather want my looks or face to be perceived in a way i'd like (cute/neotenous delicate) i'm basically the opposite of it in reality though, so my wish will never come true, does anyone else want validation rather than sex like this, i think many of incels are actually like me, that's why i'm sharing this info on there.

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Post Information
Title does anyone else relate
Author puririnpa
Upvotes 6
Comments 46
Date January 20, 2023 3:14 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/does-anyone-else-relate.1149622
https://theredarchive.com/post/1149622
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/10gzf8w/does_anyone_else_relate/
Red Pill terms in post
incel
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Comments

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I want validation from men and that's it lol.

Even though I would love good looks but no need because looks dont even last a decade for woman.I would be more happier if some random magic turn me into actual man so that I will escape endometriosis and get love from mom lol

[–]Opening_Pattern_301GloriousPill 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

It used to be my reality years ago, i was so obssesed with the idea of being liked by girls rather than just getting girls, that the moment i put myself there after doing some hard work, the moment i would get a chance for casual, my interest for that girl would tank, like the only thing that mattered to me was to be sexually desired rather than having sex because it made me feel validated, after all, i was also raised in that culture where a man's manhood is equivalent to the amount of women who desire him. Whenever i would get the validation i desired so much, i would feel a high for a while, but then it would tank and i would start chasing it again until it became a deadly spiral, as the mere action of a woman not acting the way i wanted would cause me inmense self doubt, pain, my fake confidence would tank, and the worst part is that most of the time i didnt even liked the woman but i liked the fact that she liked me, horrible situation to be in, after a lot of self reflect i realized what my psychology was and i managed to break free, validation addiction is real and it is fucking up a lot of people mentally, specially men

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

i never got the validation you would sometimes get(since it's literally impossible for me) so i wouldn't say it'S an addiction.

[–]Opening_Pattern_301GloriousPill 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

well, i acted like an addict, i would go crazy whenever i wasnt getting my drug, and the more i got the more i needed, i kid you not this would cause me to get headaches many times, it was horrible, it fucked up my mental health a lot and i believe many people are experiencing the same, specially men

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

good for you that you were able to get over it, i'm also trying to get over the sadness of basically having the exact opposite features of what i want, therapy is expensive tho.

[–]Opening_Pattern_301GloriousPill 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

yeah but it is curious, i was getting the attention incels crave so much yet i was miserable, and when i say miserable i mean it with the whole meaning of the word, imo, you dont have the features you would like, and that is completely okay, i mean you admitted yourself you want that validation, you dont need it, i got the validation i wanted yet i was extremely unhappy, in the end all the insecurities you have can only be solved from within, i know it is a platitude, i used to think the same until i actually experienced myself.

I have never opposed plastic surgery for women as i ve seen how horrible some women can be treated just for their looks, but look at those women who look pretty yet they feel the need to inject their faces with chemical and insert plastic into their bodies, the are in the same exact situation as you, and just like a drug addict, once you take it you want more and more until it becomes self destructive, trust me if you were to get it, you would get excited for a while, but then the high will pass, that is not true happiness, you dont need that to be happy and dare i say you dont need that to meet partner you re compatible and happy with, you probably have loads of blessings in you life, hopefully you have a food plate on your dinning room everyday, hopefully you have a shelter, yes it sucks to not meet the meaningless "value" quotas that a sick society imposes on you, but your life isnt that bad hopefully. Who gives a shit about impressing people you dont like? reminds me of this movie quote that goes "we buy shit we dont need with money we dont have to impress people we dont even like", it suits the current dating market like a ring to a finger.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i don't want a partner, i want to be thought of looking cute and young over getting a partner, that's the exact problem. in fact i never even felt the need to get a boyfriend at all.

but i'll never have a look that can be described as cute and young even if i can get a boyfriend.

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (16 children) | Copy Link

I feel like most pilled men are far more interested in validation than sex, and most are actually just clinically depressed and suffer the wrong idea that a girlfriend will cure their depression.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

I'm seeking therapy but it's expensive

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link

I suspect that OCD is behind your obsession with your face, and compounded by your talent. You would prefer to look like the art you create.

Someone on the opposite side of the planet has the features you paint, and she would rather look like you.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

It's just that i don't see the tough and mature look i have as the ''right' ' one for me, it could be right for other females and i have nothing aganist them, but i don't feel that the one i have is fitting what i want to be perceived at all. Compare it to what a transgender person feels because i can't really find a more fitting comparison

And not really, i started drawing cutesy stuff as a kid when i wasn't really thinking about my looks, i just naturally drew what i was interested in, i think the origin is different.

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link

I assumed you draw the features you find attractive.

Women pay for your bone structure. I hope you someday learn to love the face in the mirror. If the black pilled men here knew how pretty you are, they would drive you bonkers.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

tsugacel i get that you mean well but as a blackpilled man i can tell you that "black pilled men would [find you hot]" is probably the most offensive thing you can say to a woman, i know this because i'm blackpilled not in spite of it

second of all this is literally not helpful for koko because koko's own life goes against what you're saying so she cant believe it

i say this without any personal animosity towards u/puririnpa: if she doesnt take meds which are themselves not always a good idea (and i think surgery is worse and a slippery slope in her case), she might not really go anywhere with her situation. there are other issues she deals with such as friendlessness that compound it, i'm suggesting she tackles that first.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

well, attracting males honestly isn't even my goal, i would rather be ''perceived'' as what i like even if what i like isn't very attractive to the person.

i guess it's similar to how a transgender thinks, i got nothing else more similar to compare.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

yes koko i'm aware of this and i feel bad for you it's just that well i think your only option is to find other things to improve your self perception because i don't think your face problem is solvable as it stands no matter who or how many people tell you you're the mona lisa

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i will get better at holiday

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

All men would find her attractive. But black pilled men would be angry to discover that she isn’t ugly, because according to black pill folklore, all attractive women have advantages over men.

She and I talk a bit off board as well. She’s a very talented and very attractive woman, but she, like damn near everyone here, gets in her own way and can’t see her own potential. But even if she weren’t physically attractive, her talent is sharp.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

i know what she looks like. i told her she is not nearly as ugly as she believes; not stacy however since we're discussing blackpilled men's opinions. i like her art, i have her 'stagram too. i even drew a portrait of her once.

and yet: your opinion, my opinion, chad's opinion and stacy's opinion aren't helping her. it's a very internal problem, and no, a good chunk of men would not find her attractive. i am very, very sure of this as a man

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

You realize that the only reason I’m talking about her like she isn’t here is because men don’t take her seriously. In the US she would be too beautiful for most men. Cheekbones are everything here.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i still doubt this but i wouldnt be surprised with how the US economy shifted to being world's primary producer of the blackpill after their manufacturing was offshored to china and india (joking)

i didnt say anything new here that i havent told koko before

[–]TsugaC1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

And besides, she may not need or want to “go anywhere”. Most people in the pill subs aren’t all that sexual anyway and some are also aromantic. They just want to be desired and respected even if they have no plans to date or fuck. And that’s okay, too.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i meant "heal" not "have sex"

i am heterosexual myself

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

​

i was bullied for looking too ''masculine'' actually both online and irl, my generation prefers soft features.

i also would rather dress cute than either slutty or dullish looking but cuteness just can't happen for me, i would pay for facial feminization and v-jaw surgery but i know it's going to look like crap.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

that's not my irl or online experience, as much as the modeling industry pushes for masculine women, my irl experience says men, especially from z generation, usually prefer softer or more neotenous features.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

does anyone else want validation rather than sex

Yeah.

[–]hutavan 0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

I somewhat relate. I think I could live without sex or relationships just fine (close intimate friendships and jerking off are a decent substitute imo), but I can't stand the knowledge that I'm objectively a subhuman and I think some validation would give me exactly what I need to live a happy life. I lived a perfectly fulfilled life until I got blackpilled, especially on height. Even my grades and motivation suffered.

But in a way I'm different than you. I don't want to be more attractive/taller, I actually want to stay the way I am (because that's what I identify with), and instead I wished women found that look just as attractive as the hyper-masculine Chad ideal.

Of course I would like a relationship ideally, but I could also easily do without it if only my phenotype wasn't perceived as shit-tier by women.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

hypermasculine chads are outdated tbh, prettyboys are the new ideal: https://www.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/108fash/proof_of_prettyboypill_and_faceheight/

also i doubt you genuinely are a subhuman, you probably just don't look like what you want.

[–]hutavan 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

I wish

https://www.livescience.com/8779-fertile-women-manly-men.html

"When fertile, women want manly men"

"Women with less-masculine husbands or boyfriends are more likely to lust after other men during the fertile part of their cycle than women partnered with butch guys."

Still, the pretty boy paradox is a bit of an enigma to me. All studies are in agreement that women prefer manly men, so I'm not sure why a pretty boy would get any attention. Perhaps a pretty boy is more cute/cuddly whereas the Chad is more hot and properly turns them on? Idk tbh.

I'm definitely neither a pretty boy nor a Chad so it's kinda irrelevant which one is more attractive.

also i doubt you genuinely are a subhuman

I objectively am. Maybe facial beauty can be argued to be subjective to some degree, but centimeters don't lie and that's where I truly lack.

you probably just don't look like what you want.

No, I don't mind the way I look. I don't want to look different, I wished that my current look was considered attractive.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

1- muh studies are not as accurate as what you can observe with your own eyes, also beauty standards often change from generation to generation or culture to culture.

2-prettyboys aren't really the same as what you can call soyboys or femboys, prettyboys usually still have some semblence of T, but are also more ''aesthetic'' than a hypermasculine chad, which honestly i don't like.

3-height is overrated tbh

4- why are men so obsessed with being ugly? at least when women draw or make self-insert comics or shows they usually make both the girl and the boy aesthetically pleasing.

[–]hutavan 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

1- The studies and reality are not necessarily in disagreement here. The study clearly admits less masculine men get in relationships, but women still lust after hyper-masculine men during fertile parts of their cycles.

2- Thanks for the clarification, but even with that in mind it seems prettyboys are still less masculine than Chad so the point still stands

3- Height is the most important factor of male attractiveness

4- I have no idea. I couldn't self-insert into a Chad because I know that's not me. I've already internalized that I'm a manlet and a framelet. What's weird to me is being able to self-insert into a totally different body type.

That being said, I struggle to really self-insert at all tbh, not just when it's a Chad character.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

well, a different study says it is disproven that a cycle or birth control effects your attraction: https://www.businessinsider.com/study-says-women-are-not-more-attracted-to-dominant-men-when-fertile-2018-5

face>height

also as a woman, hypermasculine chads legit don't make me interested.

[–]hutavan 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

"the study has yet to be peer-reviewed."

Also it seems to be talking about masculine behaviour whereas the study I posted talked about appearance. Obviously I didn't read it all in these couple of seconds, but still I doubt they actually disproved it.

also as a woman, hypermasculine chads legit don't make me interested.

Any chance you're a closeted lesbian?

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

It talks about masculine traits too, basically both.

I'm not

[–]hutavan 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I read the whole article and it only talks about masculine behavior.

The study it's based on is literally titled "Probing ovulatory cycle shifts in women’s preferences for men’s behaviors"

I got my hopes up for nothing.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Idk but studies can be disproven or often have dubious samples or methology, beauty standards are heavily influenced by media and zoomers are exposed to prettyboys

[–]SilentFroggy 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do women desire sex from prettyboys compared to hyper masculine men?

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes

[–]inkvellion432 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm kindve mixed about this. I do want a girlfriend but now my current priority is getting a bunch of cosmetic work done on my face... for that I need to save up tens of thousands of dollars to get 🥺. After almost 25 years of being alone and being rejected 6 times, I am not delusional enough to think that your average girl would find me physically attractive enough at this point to be with.

As you said yourself, prettyboy is the new meta, and approaching 25 in March, I am older looking and have facial lines and balding. The only good thing about me is that I'm in shape, and that's because that's really the only thing about myself that I can truly control. My skincare products haven't reverted me back to looking like the way I was when I was 18, and my hairloss medication hasn't given me back all the hair that I've lost over the years, but I still keep taking them with the fear in the back of my mind, that my situation would even be worse without them.

And lastly my standards for women themselves, I personally find them reasonable but I guess women don't, but I'm assuming that just comes from them not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions in life, and also them wanting to have their cake and eat it too.

Average looking, fit, virgin, monogamous minded, not an agreeable dumb slave, but also someone who won't just start fights with me unnecessarily. I do want someone to talk to and have deep conversations with and I do want a 2nd opinion on things.

I'm not entirely sure if I want children. I've always wanted to be a father, but at the same time I'm always in constant fear about passing down my physically unattractive physical features down to my own children, thereby condemning them to live the same terrible life that I had to live.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Average looking, fit, virgin, monogamous minded, not an agreeable dumb slave, but also someone who won't just start fights with me unnecessarily. I do want someone to talk to and have deep conversations with and I do want a 2nd opinion on things.

I'm not entirely sure if I want children. I've always wanted to be a father, but at the same time I'm always in constant fear about passing down my physically unattractive physical features down to my own children, thereby condemning them to live the same terrible life that I had to live.

yep same here

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

tbh im not even monstrously ugly just gardien variety subhuman though id like sex (NOT HOOKING UP) its more that my life is just utter shit i have no friends outside of campus because i live in a secluded area where not even the age dmeographics are in my favor, my job prospects are slim to none in the future as a CScel, and half the fucking time i want to do something my depression is stopping me from moving. i don't even play video games as much as i used to anymore

[–]debatelord_1 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can relate. I like attention.

[–]puririnpa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

being perceived as what i want is honestly harder than getting sex for me, that's part of the problem.

[–]SilentFroggy 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes I do. It’s narcissism and a lot of guys and girls want the desire to be better than others. I’m surprised many guys are admitting it here. I wouldn’t know what percentage of guys choose to be incels because of this. But I’m sure 90% of femcels just want to be the pretty ones.

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

you cant choose to be incel

[–]SilentFroggy 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m specifically talking about volcels

[–]no_bling_just_dingself-aware MSTOW / i like my pill the way i like my coffee 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i get that i mean im not incel im mstow (you could call it volcel) but it's less wanting to mog others and more just wanting something that's fulfilling instead of drunk girls, engaged women and strangers with stds

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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