This opinion will certainly be controversial, so I'd like to preface by saying this is not a pro-rape/SA post. Nor is this post trying to show men in a negative light. This is just an anecdotal observation to demonstrate that men and women experience sex very differently.

I've come to the conclusion that we, as men, will never truly understand rape or sexual assault from a woman's perspective. We can listen to women who experienced these crimes and make inferences based on that information. But there is an inherent barrier to how men are able to understand it.

Generally speaking, men view pretty much any sexual opportunity with any woman as good, while women only view sex with men who meet thier standards as good. I think men view sex a lot like ice cream. There is amazing ice cream, average ice cream, or maybe odd/bland ice cream flavors. But there isn't really a "bad" ice cream.

Imagine one day a woman puts a gun to your head, sits you down, and forces you to have some ice cream you don't particularly care for. Would you be traumatized by this to the point you develop PTSD and need a lifetime of therapy? I personally would not, although it would be an unsettling experience. Now, just swap the genders and replace "ice cream" with "sex", and this same scenario is literally every woman's worst nightmare.

Try and think of an ice cream flavor that can traumatize you for life. I literally cannot. Likewise with sex. I quite literally cannot think of any scenario of a woman forcing herself on me that I wouldn't be at least partially receptive to (provided she doesn't kill me, or cause permanent bodily harm).

But this is absolutely NOT TRUE for 99.9999% of women. Just listen to any woman you know who experienced rape or sexual assault and you'll understand that.

So it seems there is a fundamental disconnect between men's experience of sex, and women's experience of sex.