Advice for meditation.

jimsmythee · 2024-10-29T18:58:42+00:00

I'll tell you this; Don't be afraid to walk away.

In my divorce, AZ requires Mediation first for all "divorce with children". And it's free, to let the couple decide on anything, everything, or nothing they can. So the judge doesn't have to decide.

But our divorce mediator, supposed to be impartial, was anything but. Actual statement she made, regarding me wanting 50/50 custody, "Only a horrible person would take the children away from the loving arms of their mother."

She and my exwife would get me to agree to something, in exchange for my exwife to agree to something. Mediator would write down into her computer what I agreed to, and then my exwife wouldn't agree to her part, and the mediator would just move on. Railroading me, gaslighting me.

But fortune favored me. The notary went home early that day. So the mediator printed off two copies and said, "Here, get this notarized and submit to the court."

I got a breath of fresh air, and I tossed that in the trash! "See you at trial lady!" is what I said to my exwife.

My exwife got her copy notarized and submitted to the court as a "Partially signed mediation agreement."

The judge also tossed that in the trash. I got my 50/50 custody.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-10-29T04:01:57+00:00

Divorce is essentially a zero sum game, which means all barganing and negotiating is positional. So start low (or high) because you never get more than you ask for and never give less than you offer. If your custody issues are settled already, that's great because it's very difficult to mediate those issues. Financial issues, much simpler.

Not sure whether you have attorneys or not and you didn't give much information about the other side, so it's hard to provide any specific advice. But if you're getting sole custody and child support, I guess that says something.

comandeer_conflict · 2024-10-28T22:34:08+00:00

The setting is what can throw people I think. Most times you are in separate rooms. You only talk with the mediator. and the spouse is in a separate room who only talks to the mediator.

leaving4me · 2024-10-28T19:26:06+00:00

You already have sole custody and CS which is often a point of contention. You mention nothing of the circumstances as it pertains to your incomes, but generally it is 50/50 on debt and assets beyond any type of possible alimony.

Title	Advice for meditation.
Author	Responsible_Echo_887
Upvotes	10
Comments	4
Date	October 28, 2024 6:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ge91w0/advice_for_meditation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-for-meditation.1534072 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534072

Comments