ADVICE PLEASE

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-04-08T21:13:54+00:00

OP, my experience is this is a knowledgeable bunch that doesn't sugar coat. If we're all telling you that you're in good shape only being married for a year, then you probably are. I'm in the #1 most expensive state for divorce, and actually my situation is quite similar.

First things first, I think you need legal advice. In my state, the clock stops the minute you serve her, so it was in my best interest to do it fast. It only gets more expensive the longer you keep her. Since my situation was under 2 years, thank heaven, it's half the duration alimony plus half of what I earned during the marriage. Lucky for you, you are probably not making a ton right now.

So what if she gets all your paycheck. It's probably for 6 months, and you can do that standing on your head. There are strategies, like offering to pay a lump sum at a discount vs 6 months of payments, etc etc. My biggest hurdles were getting hung up on what is 'fair' and what is affordable. Those two concepts were replaced with 'what is least-worst'.

I'd encourage you to find a therapist ASAP because of the emotional hangover of this stuff. I discounted it, and was totally wrong how hard it would be. When I got the answer to the question 'why did I marry this person instead of leaving sooner' I learned a valuable lesson.

Good luck, please post often!

MarcoEnzo85 · 2021-04-08T17:18:43+00:00

Be thankful you don't have kids and a house. Count your blessings my friend. Only up from here. I don't have US divorce law experience but because of the length of said marriage you should be fine! In Canada if the marriage is less than 5 years special rules apply. Good luck, head up!

sexytimeinseattle · 2021-04-08T19:02:04+00:00

Depends on the state, but for that length of marriage your obligation would be minimal.

medic4401 · 2021-04-08T19:42:54+00:00

Your sooo lucky. Run now! Best thing you ever did

WartimeDad · 2021-04-08T17:40:20+00:00

I think you’ll be okay. You might need to spend some money on a lawyer. Overall, your financial loss is basically just going to be 1/2 of whatever you saved during the year. Did you put money in a savings account/retirement/stocks? Half of whatever was gained during the marriage.

In a short marriage like this legal expenses for her (to go after your money) could end up being more expensive than anything she would gain. You should go for a clean break.

So yeah I think you’ll be alright it isn’t like she will get alimony or anything from your paycheck.

Moving up from here! Good luck brother.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-04-08T18:25:24+00:00

Retain a family law attorney. You'll easily find one within arm's reach of whichever base you're stationed at. With a one year marriage and few marital assets, it should be a clean split. In some states, you may pay spousal support for half the duration of the marriage. But even then, 6 months is nothing. Be grateful you don't have a kid with her.

Facers70 · 2021-04-09T03:05:10+00:00

What state will you be filing for divorce in?

Title	ADVICE PLEASE
Author	Traditional_Snow_209
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	April 8, 2021 3:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/mmudfp/advice_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-please.817252 https://theredarchive.com/post/817252

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