My wife told me she wanted a divorce last February. We had our ups and downs for a while, but I always thought we were fine. Regardless she suddenly moved out in September. I feel like I’m the “divorced woman” because I’m in the house we bought, for her. I’m the primary caregiver for our children and have had them since before Thanksgiving, with her having an occasional weekend night only recently due to work commitments. We interact frequently because we have 3 young children and want to keep it as normal as possible for them, even though it’s not. Example being holidays, birthdays, after school activities. She even stayed at my house this weekend due to the snowstorm and the kids and myself being sick. Unfortunately I found out she was starting to explore seeing other people, even though we are still married and will be until September due to state laws. I’m struggling because I still love her and wish she would come back. I know I need to accept what it is, but I’m struggling. She wants to be friends, but I feel the friendship and parenting is so one sided, as was a lot of responsibilities in our marriage. She’s able to move on as she doesn’t have child responsibilities right now, and we are in the city she grew up in. I moved here to make her happy and haven’t developed real friends and with the kids, I don’t actually do anything for me.

Anyways, I’m coming here to see advice from those who are divorced and managed to be “friends”. How did you move on/accept when they moved on? How did you handle being with them on holidays/birthdays?

I just feel lost and alone, unsure how to actively improve when I get hit by these waves.