Advice

So my fiancé I’ve been with since 2022 around the fall. He is dealt with his ex-wife. They have two kids together one girl who is now 10 and the boys who is seven while he was deployed for 10 months last year came back last summer. She has started a new relationship moved in with the guy not even four months of dating, got engaged not even six months of dating, and was got married last month of not even two years fully together or dating and since she has been with him and he was deployed, she has claimed that it is not in the best interest of the kids to see him anymore that they have a life where they are at that he is the one who is constantly impeding on their lives and their happiness we did have a lawyer things got tight to where we were not able to pay due to all of the literal shit, her attorney was flinging that he should have reduced time he shouldn’t see him mind you when they divorced she had already been out of the house for over six months and she had moved three hours away with the kids they had a meeting point so he could still see them which was halfway and it is still that way to the day and it is just been since she’s been with this guy that it’s been. You know all this is their life now your an inconvenience to be in their life and recently the daughter has not wanted to come, and when she is here comments he will make or when the kids are going to sleep or she is not around or that she’s acting just tell her mother would act. She is constantly criticized me and her father to where apparently her mom had said at one point that I was pregnant we are not actively trying at all for a kid. We have recently got engaged after how long of dating plus is deployment to where we are waiting when we eventually get married we have not set a date yet but again we are taking our time and building our foundation and making sure it is in the best interest of them not rushing into a marriage moving in any of that that she made the comment that the daughter is worried that we shouldn’t have a baby because we would not take care of it and the responsibility would fall on her since she does everything around here that is false. They barely have some chores when they are here since they are not here a lot he gets him once every weekend now it’s every other he only for shirt and get him once a month due to drill since he is still active and then the summers so again not a full enough time plus school holidays so it’s not like we constantly have them doing chores to where she’s responsible for the laundry cooking cleaning none of that when we tell her to go clean her room or say, hate, you need to go pick up your room make your bed it is a scrape, big travesty. It sounds dumb even to brush her hair. Well I don’t brush my hair when I go to school I don’t have to, well you do you look like a rats nest you need to go brush your hair full I don’t wanna it’s just like a constant power struggle with her when she is here to where he has said that’s basically his ex it’s my way or the highway and I have seen that a lot since he’s been back from deployment to where she had them all the time she made all the medical decisions without consulting him and was like here’s a bill pay it and still continue to do that when it’s supposed to be 50-50, no matter if it goes through her insurance or his insurance and they’re both on each parents insurance so if it’s in a less cost if it goes through hers, then it goes through hers, but they still have to pay the remaining bill 50-50 to where she’s like well my insurance covered a recent inpatient treatment for their daughter who is suicidal at nine and her insurance covered 16,000 and the remaining would be not even two grand and she’s like you can pay that since my insurance covered at all that’s not what the order says everyone confronted with that it’s a big blowup I don’t like to throw the term narcissist around but that’s what it constantly is when the kids are here they’re laughing having a great time coming up hugging him I love you dad it’s not prompt it it’s not nothing the second they are back with her. It’s they had a terrible time they don’t ever wanna see you again they don’t want to come again recently his daughter has not come she just out of the blue message to him at 9 o’clock at night during a school night saying I’m not coming anymore. He just ignored the message one because it was late at night. She needs to go to bed I’m not picking a fight with my 10 year old daughter at nine10 o’clock at night because then I’m gonna get a message saying that she’s so upset I’m just not doing it come to picking up the kids she didn’t get out of the car he asked is actually no isn’t coming and he’s she’s like nope you need to talk to her yourself. It’s not my problem and she got back in the car with her new husband with the daughter in there. He’s like I’m not approaching because her boyfriend has been volatile towards him on the phone cussing him out so he’s like I’m not going near the car because I’m not starting a fight I’m not looking for that so he called the sheriffs department. Nothing we can do with a civil matter but at least it was documented. He reached out to the mediator. He never heard anything. He is gone temporarily for a training for the guard he will be back and he’s not heard anything back from the mediator. If you know my daughter to not come and how can I talk to my daughter when she doesn’t wanna talk to me will not give me a reason will not nothing. My ex is throwing it in my face that I’m losing both of my kids, but yet when we have the son one on one, when the daughter did not, he was almost happy that she wasn’t here because he made numerous comments of I get you to do myself, he had a lot of fun. We went to graduations for Family Plato’s cousins nothing out of the blue to wear now it’s don’t you see the toll it’s taking on our son and you’re losing our daughter in the order it says that they both you don’t have to keep a supportive role for both kids and also when they are here. We are still keeping her and all of that she wants to talk to them. You know encouraging that bond when they are there we cannot answer he can call try to message them you know hey how’s your day send voice messages he gets no response when he reaches out to the action. OK I’m trying to get a hold the kids not my problem they’re on their devices all the time it’s not my problem, but yet if they don’t respond to her and they’re here, I demand that their devices are plugged in and charged. I wish to talk to them. He’s at least done it because I’m trying she’s not. It is always not her problem not her responsibility not her job. She is sending messages on the Ourfamily Wizard and out that she is no longer going to be cordial. It is no longer her job to do anything so basically if you lose the kids you lose the kids and that’s how it’s feeling is whatever is being satyr done over there is affecting the bonds over here and it’s killing him when his daughter wasn’t here except like there was a piece missing and it killed him a lot but again he was waiting for the mediator. It was a holiday weekend, so nothing he could do so I guess what would be the best course of action hire another attorney and go after or this is his life now and he’s just not gonna see his kids at all because they have their own lives and he’s obviously not a part of it and does not allowed to be a part of it since she is got this new man and yeah Thank you