M42 married to SAHM F45. 2 kids ages 11 and 9 whom I love more than anything. Officially married 12 years living in CA. My family lives within 1-2 hours of me by car. Her family is in Chicago. She literally has no family near Nor any friends! She is having anger issues and paranoia. Very jealous of other females. She doesn’t think she has a problem and wont get counseling. After many years of trying to make it I cant do it any longer. We are renting. Have minimal savings ($35,000). Own one car. My small business failed and I filed for BK in 2018. However I now have a pretty good salary of $20,000/month (Dentist). Have a lot of student loans $400k. I know thats an insane amount but I had to defer for like 2 years when my business was spiraling. We live in a really expensive area in So Cal where rent is $3500/mo for a modest 3 BD/2 BA home with a great school system. My debt/bills every month after tax is $12,000. Again she doesn’t work and has not worked since the kids were born. She has a Bachelors in BioMedical Engineering from USC. She used to make around $50,000 a year but that was more than 12 years ago. I save the maximum for my 401k but not much is left over. We only have the $35,000 cash in the bank account and slowly adding more to that. I can’t stand living with her anymore. I have lost many friendships and relationships with people because of her anger and jealousy issues. I know if I divorce her I will have to pay child support and alimony. It looks like its going to be like $4000-$5000/month or more until the kids are 18. Also not sure how stable my job is. I am on the high end as an associate. But the job is very very stressful and I commute over 2 hours a day. My health is deteriorating no exercise, stress, bad diet and am on the verge of tears and sadness 12 hours a day but I have to power through the day and go to work because bills need to get paid. She wont get off her ass and refuses to get a job. What happens if my pay gets cut and I can’t sustain the alimony or child support. Am I better off committing suicide and letting them have my $2 million life insurance payout and resting in peace? Or should I divorce, become destitute and live with my parents until I’m 55? Please help me out here. Thanks