Amicable divorce experiences

MyNewNormal808 · 2020-09-24T10:14:30+00:00

We’re close to finalizing the divorce decree. So far we, have been amicable. As she says, she’s trying to be a good person. I’ve promised that I wouldn’t do anything to screw her over which I’ve kept. We try to be as open and transparent as possible since we have 2 kids and will be in each other’s lives for quite a while.

For me, it’s been both easy and hard since we’re amicable. Easy in the sense that this process could have been hellacious and expensive but so far it’s been as good as it can be. Hard in that I still love her and seeing her still treating me well and being good makes it’s that much harder to get it in my head that we’re going to get divorced and one day some other guy is going to see what a wonderful person she is and sweep her off her feet. Sometimes as I’m packing stuff out of the house, we’ll have really good conversations that take me back to when we first dated and could talk for hours. Sadly, I think it’s just the COVID isolation made her starved for conversation with any adult. If I hated her, it would be a cinch to move on. Right now, I still secretly hope to one day reconcile even though I know it won’t happen.

I’m sure if things continue amicably, I’ll look back and thank God for sparing me the pain and suffering of a rough divorce. Just as I know, one day I’ll get over her and move on with my life. Until then, I just have to do my best to get used to my new normal.

awesomeroy · 2020-09-22T23:59:43+00:00

do you have kids?

Its easier than a messy, angry divorce. My ex was demanding more custody despite that i was the stay at home dad. so a little of fighting there. but after all that, she had a new boyfriend within 60 days and that was that.

its not easy seeing her and my kids with her new guy, but im happier and more healthy mentally. we have 50/50 custody but now i get to enjoy my daughters completely with my full attention and then work/have my own life.

im positive my divorce was easier than most, but there are some caveats, like thinking, "hm. maybe things werent that bad and we could of worked it out" or " fuck, i kinda just lost my best friend"

then i see the look on her new guys face and im like "ohhhh yeah, i remember that feeling.. okay i feel better now" lol

Plus the dude's name is FROY.

MY NAME IS ROY. Like wtf? lol

Knave7575 · 2020-09-22T22:44:19+00:00

If you do not have kids, an amicable divorce is actually quite likely.

If you have kids, many factors come into play. Generally, if there is a custody battle the probability of an amicable divorce drops substantially.

Brokenbyher2019 · 2020-09-22T20:58:31+00:00

I wouldn’t wish the hell of what my divorce has been like on anyone. The process has gone on longer than the marriage itself. Such a waste of money. Such a terrible person.

To give you an idea. She actually spent money and had an attorney prepare a custody agreement for the mediator that said she has sole custody and I get to visit my daughter (no overnights) 2 days a month. Think about that for a second. This is the how awful of a person I married and what she thinks in her head.

Be soo soo soo very thankful yours is amicable. You think it hurts because you still care about each other. You can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to be going through someone that treats you like you are the worst garbage on the planet and who does not care about being normal. For reference, she’s a covert narc. It’s been a living hell of epic proportions. My daughter is 9 months old and no one in my family has even met her yet. It’s a disaster of epic proportions. You never would imagine the one person you chose to be with forever could be so cruel and terrible.

Be thankful for how yours is going. Seriously. I’d give anything for mine to be like yours.

MikeStidham · 2020-11-21T06:09:49+00:00

The other side of the "amicable divorce"...

I get bounced so ex can go middle age crazy with some whacko guitar player. At that time, she had the better job and I was struggling. Adios, amigo. We genuinely worked hard to have the divorce be amicable because we had a daughter.

Fast forward 11 years. I remarried three years after the divorce, ex is single. When I met my new wife, I introduced them to each other because I assumed because daughter, the three of us were going to be in the same place at the same time on a number of occasions.
In the meantime, the tables have turned. Whacko guitar player turned out to be abusive and she had to leave the state for awhile to get away from him. I'm the one with the good job and she is in the process of medically retiring after a number of injuries.
I was fine with a mutual peaceful coexistence, really wasn't asking much more than that. As time has gone on, though, my wife and my ex have gotten to be good friends. As a result of the latest injury ex has suffered, the three of us have spent a LOT of time together with us helping drive her around while she was in rehab for a knee replacement.NOW...let's just say that absence would make the heart grow fonder, but I can't get rid of the ex no matter what I do! Since her family is either working on Thanksgiving or is paranoid because COVID, somehow she managed to get my wife to invite her over for Thanksgiving and I'm like "wtf?" On one level, I really don't mind; on the other, I would have liked to spend it alone with wifey. And I guess in a normal situation, I'd be a bit more OK with it, but having your state go on "increased mitigations" the weekend before the holidays makes it even a bit more odd. Sorry for ranting, but the mixed emotions needed to be vented somewhere.

Title	Amicable divorce experiences
Author	reflective-tape
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	September 22, 2020 7:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ixuyv0/amicable_divorce_experiences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/amicable-divorce-experiences.817873 https://theredarchive.com/post/817873

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