Here we go again, back down in the gully if the roller-coaster my life has become. It's not as low this time which is good. I'm functioning, even improving. What gets me though is I'm sitting here mourning my old life, thinking about how she could do this to me. Wondering how she isn't bothered remembering all the great moments. Dying a little realizing she's curled up with another douche. But I know for certain, she's not thinking at ALL about me, us, or any of it. At all! 2 decades and 3 kids together and I'm sure I'm not even a passing thought unless she needs something or something is up with the kids. Hiw do they just shut it off?? I wish I knew this about women years ago. At the very least I could have crossed confusion off the list of things i feel every day. Not looking for advice, I know I shouldn't be giving her the time of day and when this passes I won't anymore. But for right now I'm just going to feel this one all the way through instead of burying it. Marriage sucks. Trust is an illusion. Love is brutal. That is all. Carry on.