9 months separated. Divorce still pending. STBXW has a new boyfriend. It feels like yesterday that my life was destroyed like an F5 tornado passing through a small town antique store.

As of today, I no longer hate or regret my situation. The coulda, shoulda, woulda's are long gone. I admitted my faults and will carry those with me for the rest of my life. Acceptance is a powerful mindset and it is something that I highly recommend everyone here to find. If you are resisting towards your new life and new way of living, I recommend you take a moment for yourself. Just 5 minutes of self reflection no matter what time of day will help you to accept your new reality.

Don't resist the pain, don't resist the tears, don't resist the struggle. Embrace it and accept it. This is not about being a "man" or "sucking it up". The more you resist, the longer it will take to heal.

Also, don't rush into any new relationships. Even if your ex-wife or STBXW is out there dating or in a new relationship remember, this is your journey now. She is gone and wants nothing to do with you. She may say she loves or cares about you, but the fact is she is no longer your partner. You do not need validation or assurance from her anymore. Focus on you and you alone. If you have kids, focus on providing for them. And when they come around, take the time to sit and talk with them. Cook for them. Hold them. Hug them. And tell them you love them. Show them you don't need a woman in your life to be happy. Show them how to live as an independent adult and that it is possible to recover from a setback like divorce. Because when it's all said and done, you only have yourself.

Godspeed gentleman.